I’ve just had a mad panic on looking for my keys this morning for work. After around 20 minutes of frantically thinking I’d lost them I finally found them in the fridge next to the HP sauce.
I remember getting home last night and being absolutely shattered. I put a few bits of shopping away and went to bed.
This reminded me of a few years ago when I finished some food and threw the plate, knife and fork in the bin because I was so tired.
Whats the worst thing you guys have done whilst in autopilot?
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Morning coffee after an early wake up from very, very angry baby.
Milk formula in a mug. Coffee in the bottle. Thankfully noticed very quickly, or that day would have been 1000% worse.
Usually my mind short circuits on simpler ways. Going to the fridge for a plate or being annoyed at a card machine for not recognising my phone pin…
Got woken up by my then wife. I was stood at the bedroom window in the middle of the night trying to turn off someone else’s car alarm with a TV remote.
Back in the days of VHS tapes… when I found a tape in the fridge, I had an idea as to where my wife may have put the sausages.
In the living room, on top of the VHS recorder.
We never did figure out what caused that brain fart.
A few weeks ago, I put unleaded in my diesel car while distracted and on autopilot. The AA guy, while doing the costly fuel emptying/cleaning, said he’s had a couple of occasions where he’s emptied and cleaned the tank then got the driver to fill up and they’ve done exactly the same thing again! I count myself lucky I only did it the once.
Took coffee out of cupboard, when I finished using the kettle I put it where the coffee should’ve gone
I squirted soap onto my toothbrush instead of toothpaste, luckily I realised before I tried brushing my teeth.
I lost my keys after a night out in London and following an exhaustive search I gave up on ever finding them.
Around 4 months later when we were moving out of our shared house they turned in a plastic bag in the Fridge along with a can of beer.
Nearly poured the remnants of a drink in the bin yesterday whilst throwing away a packet with the other hand… and nearly put the packet in the sink.
I regularly find my keys in the fridge. I use them to remind me to take my lunch to work
I’ve tried to put the milk in the cutlery drawer, after opening it to get a spoon for my coffee
I was once working 16 hour shifts to keep a business afloat through some hard times. I would wake up at 3 in the morning and drive to my colleague’s house, have a coffee there then on to work. This particular day they had 2 seperate pint bottles in the fridge, one opened and one unopened. So I pick up the opened bottle to make the coffee. Me and my colleague sat there still half asleep at that time of the morning wondering why the coffee tasted weird, I got half way through my mug of coffee and my colleague got up and looked in the fridge and noticed I’d used the banana milkshake they’d ordered from the milk man the previous morning. Yup coffee and banana milkshake. Gave us a rare chuckle for that time of the morning.
Started to boil the kettle whilst cooking dinner, turned around to sort something out for my three year old, turned back and realised I had put the electric kettle on the gas hob, melted the bottom and almost started a fire.
Cleaning up books and papers on the desk ***without realising my ipad*** and placed them aside. Spent nearly half an hour then trying to find the ipad, couldn’t be more happier to have airtag now
I once had a massive chest freezer by the front door – the only place it would fit.
On more than one occasion we found post in the freezer.
Still not sure why.
I’ve done tons of these things.
But my favourite was actually chatting to a colleague who, at the time, was a new father. I asked the same question about what daft stuff he’d done (due to sleep deprivation), and he swore blind he just “didn’t make those sorts of silly mistakes”.
As he’s saying this, I’m watching him scoop coffee into a cereal bowl. He had this sudden moment of enlightenment/embarrassment when he realised what he was doing. Still makes me chuckle
Milk in the cupboard under the sink, fabric conditioner in the fridge. I’ve also put fabric conditioner in my tea once, they look similar but thankfully smell very different so I didn’t drink any
Was at a gig many years ago. Bought a chocolate bar, ate it, put the change in my pocket and threw away the wrapper. Went to the bar later to get a drink and tried to pay with a chocolate bar wrapper. Had thrown the fiver in the bin.
My mum went through a phase of putting her purse in the cupboard.
I remember I lost my tamagotchi once and found it in the fridge where I’d left it getting some orange juice out.
Always going to cupboard, instead if stand alone fridge to get milk out, on a morning .
Or putting cereal in fridge.
I’ve put the cup of tea in the fridge and gone to drink the milk before… Also thrown the spoon in the bin and the yogurt pot in the dish bowl
removing a wrapper and putting the item in the bin instead of wrapper
Put the leftover Chinese in the cupboard with the biscuits.
I’ve never really misplaced anything like that, but I have tried to scratch my eyelid without remembering to close my eye first, so I’ve got other problems.
Back when I was a bit of a stoner, I went into my kitchen, flopped out the old fella and started pissing in my kitchen bin.
Realised after a tiny bit went into the bin then WTF’d at myself and ran into the toilet to finish the deed.
Then a few months later, same thing happened, but I was standing next to the urinal at fucking work (sober obvs), but almost started pissing in the bin that had the used paper towels in them. Thankfully it was just a side step to the urinal and no one else was in there.
Fast forward 15 years to last week and I was in the living room waiting for the Mrs to get ready so we could pop out and see mates. I had a can of beer in one hand, and vape in the other. I raised the beer can to my lips, pressed the button on the vape then inhaled the beer straight down my throat and nearly choked.
Not my keys – but my phone. I check the fridge first when something is missing ever since.
Filled the car with petrol, paid, walked home.
AirTag that shit. Also really handy for spare car keys as I can never remember where I put them.
Not me, but my wife.
It was our oldest daughter’s first day of senior school, so my wife took a photo of her dressed in her uniform and ready to go. My wife sent me the photo, then a couple of minutes later I start getting panicked messages about her not being able to find the house keys; she’s looked everywhere, they’re not in the kitchen or by the bed or any of the other usual places and have I taken them because <daughter> is going to be late etc. etc.
The photo my wife sent has our daughter stood in our hallway by the front door. The door has my wife’s keys hanging from the lock. It was one of those locks where you can only have one key in at a time and I locked the door behind when I left for work so she must have unlocked the door before taking the photo. So I sent her the photo back with MS-Paint airbrushed arrows pointing pointing to the keys. I remind her about it every time I can’t find something she’s asked me to get.
Also: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWDRdvZsCyE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWDRdvZsCyE)
I tried to put the kettle in the fridge instead of the milk.
Actually the worst was when I was holding someone’s new puppy and I, being used to having cats, chucked it (to be fair a small distance, but enough that it let out a yelp and panic ensued)
We had a big party back in the student days. Afterwards we couldn’t find the remote, assumed some prick had stolen it, we had to walk over to the telly to operate it which became a bit of a palaver with arguments about whos turn it was to do it for about 3 weeks until someone found the remote in the freezer under a bag of peas.
Defrosted it and gave it a few hours for the condensation to leave and it worked just fine, we could go back to sitting motinoless for hours with only having to roll a joint to interrupt the calm.
Milk in the cupboard is a classic
Couldn’t find my remote, spent day looking for it. It was in the fridge.
Couldn’t find remote for a 2nd time. No idea what made me check, but it was in the bin.
I am fully blaming menopause and not my stupidity!
Accidentally driven to a house I haven’t lived in for 20 years, parked on the driveway and tried to enter the house. My brain was elsewhere.
I’ve walked home from work to realise I’ve left my car at work a few times. I usually walk, but sometimes I pop somewhere at lunch or have to take heavy stuff in, so take the car. My brain isn’t used to me taking the car!
I’ve used my phone to activate the find my phone feature
Took my wedding ring off before going to the gym like always. Rather than leaving it in the usual place, I put it in the bathroom bin. Luckily I found it before the bin contents were chucked out.
I use instant coffee as that’s how I grew up and I can’t be arsed with the additional faff of brewing proper coffee
One morning, half asleep I poured water into the coffee jar instead of the mug.
I’ve also frequently poured unboiled water into mugs for tea / coffee.
I lost my ‘phone, and thought I may have dropped it under the bed, so hung over the side to look. It was dark under there, so I used the torch on my ‘phone to search for it.
I hunted for a while before my brain caught up. Might have been a whole minute.