Hello,
I am 25M and started a job this year in an office for my state's government (US). Another person was also hired for this position, and she started 2 weeks after me. She is also ~ 10 years older, if that makes any difference.
The training was honestly fine for me, I feel like I picked things up pretty quickly, and we learned most things together. I tried really hard to be friendly, ask her about her interests, children, etc. Since we were in the same position. And just being a decent person lol.
That is despite her being a very different person. I found out she is very religious (which I am not) and has the opposite political views of mine. Obviously it's a government job and at work, so I remained friendly and didn't bring up any of those topics.
But recently, I've basically realized that one way or another, she does not do as much work as I do. I clearly seemed to pick up this job quicker. And I hate to say that because I am a people pleaser and have self-esteem issues. She often asks the senior coworker for help, and then they got too busy, and she started asking me for help. She also messages me about non related work things in our chat consistency throughout the day, which distracts me from my work.
I am at the place where I am beginning to be annoyed by her. I am empathetic and know it is difficult to take care of a child and work full time, but I think more is there.
This week she was having technology problems working from home, and decided to take the day off. She messaged the other coworkers (text, not work chat) to tell everyone else in our work chat that she was taking off. There are other small examples of this, where I feel like boundaries are being broke.
But I generally have trouble communicating boundaries. Especially in a work environment where I tend to want to please everyone. I have a lot of anxiety about talking to other coworkers, my boss, and especially her about this. The coworkers see some of the issues too I think, but probably don't know the extent it's unloaded on me. I feel like in some ways (definitely not all) I am mature for my age, but nevertheless…. I'm a 25 year old with an anxiety disorder.
That being said, if anyone could give me advice or tell me the best way to communicate this, I would really appreciate it.