It’s a bit of a long story so bear with me if you can. I (23f) want to cut off my friend (we will call) amalia (23f), we have a few mutuals and aside from that we are a trio.
Lately I’ve been wanting to cut amalia off, because growing reasons; first she keeps on cheating on her partner who she plans to marry, I have told her several times to stop and laid it out to her, how messed up it is to cheat. And she says she’ll stop when she’s married/has a ring on her finger. Everyone else including our other friend, her family and everyone is enabling this behaviour and sees it as normal. And now amalia cheats but does it behind my back so I can’t even address her.
On top of this, although Amalia isn’t necessarily a bad friend, she isn’t a good one either. She doesn’t know how to show up for me emotionally and I have told her this countless times. But no improvement (which I never held against her until she demanded I show up regardless of my circumstances), she expects everyone else including me to show up 100% every time. Even if the man she’s crying about is the one she cheated with. Meanwhile when I struggle with depression (and would mention it) it’s radio silence from her side and then to add to that she expects me to show up, emotionally and physically, when I’m far to drained.
Lastly not only can I not count on her emotionally, I can’t got to her for any opinion. Even on something like a dress. Or relationship advice because if I don’t do what she says she starts picking fights. She wants to constantly control decisions and appearances and it’s getting all too draining for me.
Today it’s the last straw for me, I had met her couple days ago, after going through one of the worst semesters, depressed and physically ill on top of that (this is important context for later). Amalia asked us to come over yesterday as well, in the group, I told her it’s late (7 pm) as she also lives an hour away from the city. And she doubled down saying how we (including me) don’t put effort and she’s always coming to the city to meet us. And that she dropped me off the last time (in the city) and it wasn’t late for her.
Now I have went to her place many many times and used to go frequently when I had a car and I didn’t have depression and exams looming on me. She has only dropped me off 2 times in the last 4 months. So I don’t know why she said it as if I never go to her place and that she always drops me off. When I was clearly to stressed and not in a place to put effort the way I used too.
My other friend has been incessantly apologising and pushing me to apologise to Amalia and I refuse to. I expressed to my other friend that I don’t want to continue this friendship for all of the above reasons, and my other friend accused me of stacking reasons to cut her off.