some background information: me and my boyfriend have been dating for a little over two years
long story short: my boyfriend is struggling severely with mental health issues and wants to take a break from the relationship because he believes he is too dependent on me for his happiness. i don’t feel that way though, because i love him so much and i want to keep taking care of him because of my love and i can handle his codependency on me during this hard time. usually we are not codependent on each other, but in hard situations we fall into codependency (and we both have been okay with it in the past).
he asked to go on a break a little bit ago, and we’re meeting up again next week to talk about everything. i’m struggling a lot, i feel a rollercoaster of emotions because i don’t know if he’s trying to break up with me or if he truly needs some alone time to work on himself? i’m in agony waiting, because i just want to help him and for us to be together. what should i do and what should i expect for when we meet up?
has anyone dealt with this before, where one partner wants to take a break and the other doesn’t?
i’m so confused and feel alone and depressed and anxious because i don’t know what to expect. if u guys have any advice at all i would really appreciate it because i am feeling so lost right now <3
TL;DR: My (21M) boyfriend asked me (21F) for a break because of his own mental health issues and wanting to not be so codependent on me, when I didn’t want to take a break because I just want to take care of him. What can i do to cope? What can i expect from meeting up with him? What do you guys think of the situation, do you think he wants to break up? I’m feeling sad and confused 🙁
2 comments
You will just have to wait and see what he has to say. If he wants to break up there’s nothing you can do but accept it.
This is a really difficult situation to be in and I really feel for you. I feel honestly there is not much you can do beyond simply granting him his wishes. Give him space, be there in the background, trust in your relationship and his love for you, and wait. Telling him you can’t cope or that it’s too much for you will only make it worse on his end, which would be counterproductive to your goal of staying together and supporting him. Be there for him by not being there; wait without waiting. If you can, try to see this time as an opportunity for you too – reconnect with old friends, reengage old hobbies, take up new ones. I’m not sure what issues your boyfriend is struggling with at the moment, but it sounds like some time focusing on other things might actually help you both.