My wife (37) and I (36) have been married for 4 years, and we have a 2 year old boy. We got married and moved in together in late 2020. A lot of unknown character traits/ behaviors surfaced during that time. I quickly realized that past sexual abuse and abandonment has severely affected my wife and still plays a major negative factor in her behavior. Our arguments tend to lead to har exhibiting a lot of anger and rage. We spoke to our pastor early in our marriage and even did a short (and pricey) stint in couples therapy. She is a psychologist by schooling (does not practice) and was not receptive to the counseling because of her own bias against talk therapy.
Our relationship in recent years has had it's ups and downs, but our biggest fight has been from her racking up over $8k in credit card debt on a card in her name only. btw, I am the sole breadwinner in the household as I am allowing her make to make her entrepreneurial dreams a reality.
I am feeling very blah in the relationship. Sex happens maybe 2-3 times a month if I'm lucky, and the quality is certainly not where it was when we were dating (but I will certainly take some of that blame). It doesn't help that my wife has gained a good 30-40 lbs and that has affected my physical attraction to her. Some people may bash me for that but that is my reality. While I have not and would not cheat I find myself looking at other women and thinking 'what if?'. All of a sudden I notice every woman around my age with a bangin body.
I know I just dumped about 4 years of baggage, but is this "slump" normal? Is the grass greener on the other side (divorce)? I have seen so many people stay in dead-end marriages, but I also have heard from a divorced friend that he wished he and his ex would have worked things out. Am I dealing with typical wife issues or is there something more?