I have made a post prior to this, complaining about a few things In my marriage and I received some good advice and feedback regarding my marriage and behaviour in my marriage.
Maybe I’m in an emotional state but I truly feel like this marriage is a bittersweet death sentence for me.
Ever since we had children we just don’t have a normal life schedule, I try so hard to do things as a family like the farm, boat rides, walks, parks etc.
My husband sleeps in the day, he wakes around 6pm due to hunger most likely sometimes he will miss me and eat with us and other times if I’m fed up with the kids and I’m in a moody state he will get moody, get angry and it will start a horrific rest of the night.
He doesn’t acknowledge that I wake up for the kids daily for the last three years, no day has been an off day for me except the first four months of my first child’s life as I had a traumatic birth and it took a long time to heal, we stayed with my mum and he was extremely helpful.
Now he sleeps everyday till 6pm, he doesn’t work, he has brought home about 4000 dollars in the last three years only. He blames me his lack of work on me but now he won’t accept me working due to the kids and no one is able to assist me with raising them.
I don’t know what to do, I’m so tired I’m so sad I really want to die because of this loneliness. I hate being so alone in this marriage.
I want equal access to rest. I want to work and get paid well because I like to spend and live nicely, I want to be accompanied by a husband to places that families go to. I want us to have a healthy family routine, eat well, limit junk and enjoy life with friends. I want to live in a a nice area and pay rent on time because right now our rent is always cheap.
He is always so wrapped up in this world’s current chaotic state that he won’t even begin correcting himself.
I always believed that we should start with our own self to change the world.
I run a small business and it is hard to work on it without any kind of time away from the kids.
I love him a lot. I know a part of him loves us and cares for us and a part of him just wants to run away from responsibility but he just won’t rip of the bandaid and do either or..
there is so much more issues to this relationship but love and sex kept us together.. help.