Hi!
So, to get right into it – on average, my(20f) bf(21m) usually takes 15 mins on average to cum during sex, not including foreplay, just penetration itself. Today, I talked with my male friend about this (my bf also talks about our sex live with his friends, we are ok with it) and he said that if he is really into somebody, he lasts about 5-6 mins. It was like that with a girl he considered a beauty goddess (his exact words). When I asked him if he thinks that my bf is just not that into me since he lasts more than that, he kinda initiated that that might be the case. He also told me about his friend that would also always take longer to cum, until he met "the one" that he was crazy about, then he suddenly started cumming way quicker. My bf took longer even during our first time, which was his first sexual experience in months. He says that it might be because he usually masturbates 1-3 times a day and that when he feels like he is about to cum, he slows down or stops, or that he gets exhausted when he is on top, therefore it takes longer. But when I told that to my friend, he told me that that kinda stuff did not matter when he was with "the one", he would still cum just as quick. I know that I might sound like an ugrateful asshole, but I just cannot stop thinking about it. Honestly, without any sugarcoating, do you think that is the case? Does he just not find me as attrative as people would when it came to "the one", the person they see as The beauty/sex "goddess"? (Ik it sounds funny, but ykwim haha). Am I just attrative enough for him to have sex with? Thank you š (ik this stuff is subjective also, but I would like to hear your input and experience as well)
11 comments
I mean, no I don’t think so. One or 2 mens opinions cannot be valid for ALL men. Some men get off quick, regardless of who they have sex with, and the same goes for the ones that can last a little while.
I’d say if anything is making him last a little longer it’s most likely the fact he masturbates so often and that many times, but based on his age that might not even be a factor. I’d about bet he just is one of the types of men that doesn’t erupt after a minute or two!
While that may be true for your friend heās talking out of his ass if he states that itās true for all men.
Some men just have different levels of stamina compared to other men.
First of all, masturbating 1-3 times a day, especially with porn, contributes a lot to lasting too long. I used to masturbate only once a day and I only stopped recently when I would last about 30-45 minutes minimum and 3 hours max during sex and it became a little tiring. Given your bf does it 3 times a day, Iām surprised heās not lasting even longer. When I got my first blowjob back when I didnāt watch porn at all, it lated forever even though I didnāt masturbate that often or watch porn.
Also the fact that your boyfriend gets tired or tries to last longer by not cumming contributes a lot. You shouldnāt feel bad that he takes 15 minutes if heās actively trying to not cum. Itās his decision to last longer, not your fault. Masturbating the same day or the day before having sex also contributes to your stamina. Itās likely that that has happened given how often your boyfriend masturbates.
you just need to ask him directly and very honestly, communicate yoru concerns…
>ik this stuff is subjective also
There you go, you answered your own question.
Quit listening to your friend like he is some sort of sex/relationship expert, he is just a naive and immature boy like most guys his age.
Please remember: *people demonstrate attraction to each other through many different ways*: how we talk to people, how we touch them, how we look at them, etc.
To reduce attraction down to something as *arbitrary* as an erection or vaginal wetness or an orgasm cheapens the entire experience of feeling and demonstrating attraction. Itās allowing oneās insecurity to blind us to all the ways in which people who are attracted to us demonstrate that attraction.
Your male friend is being ridiculous š
Yes there is a correlation between how long you last and how attracted you are to someone but only when youāre sexually inept, which a lot of people are for their whole lives unfortunately. There are a lot of other factors like how youāre feeling that day, general health and fitness, and one your boyfriend mentioned too like masturbation frequency.
The most important though is just intention. Your boyfriend actually tries to last longer because he enjoys sex and likes having sex for longer with you. Given your information, I would even say that itās the opposite of not being attracted to you. He is very attracted to you and cares about lasting longer so you both enjoy sex for longer. So if you were to assume that he does find you attractive, do you want him to finish fast or do you want to prolong the pleasure and the experience for both of you?
Maybe your friend said that because he genuinely believes that or heās too insecure to admit that your boyfriend might be better at sex than him, not that stamina is the only or main factor in good sex, but it is a factor.
There is a whole world out there to mastering stamina and sex in general for men. You can even reach a point where you can last as long as you like and orgasm without ejaculating. Check out āThe Multi Orgasmic Manā by Mantak Chia, maybe even suggest it to your friend and your boyfriend.
Everyone is different lol. Itās not that serious.
This is a perfectly normal (and, in fact, pretty ideal/beneficial) length of time to last. Nothing to worry about.
Firstly, it might be ok to discuss your relationship issue with female friends, but it is almost never acceptable to discuss them with male friends…
Masterbating 1-3 times a day can definately have an effect of sexual duration, but in this case it seems to be to your advantage. Seems like you are being insecure that he might have found somebody else more attractive.
I’m a guy and this is true. I can cum instantly with someone I’m attracted to but if I’m too into her it’s struggle to.
Ngl it sounds like your friend wants to bang you lmao and is projecting his insecurities cause he only lasts 5 mins. Sounds like a hater and lowkey wants you.