I'm not sure if anyone else has this problem, but over the last year I have noticed I am too aware/self conscious in front of my close friends, and have problems just "being myself." with them. Because when you're self conscious, thinking about how you're acting, it's kinda impossible to be yourself.
I know why this has happened. I have been living abroad for about 5 years now, and so we are not around each other often. Secondly, I used to have a very social job, so this would give me confidence/exposure I guess just being comfortable being myself with all kinds of people. And now I work online, abroad and only really interact with people online, my husband and sometimes we go out with his friends.
An interesting thing, is like I said I don't really have this awkwardness problem with strangers or people I just meet or acquaintances. I have an easier time just being myself, because there is no pressure. I think, because I see my friends a few times a year, there is all this pressure now to be comfortable, get right back into how we are…and I get overwhelmed.
I would say I am an anxious person in general, but atm this is the most intrusive issue I have. I would like to get rid of my anxiety overall…but not sure how. I feel like to fix this problem right now I would need to move back home, spend time with my friends, just socialize more and things would go back to normal and my brain would stop freaking out. But we can't really move back for at least a year…so not sure what else to do.