I ‘18 F’ have joined a discord group based in Toronto Canada because in a year I’ve decided to move to Toronto for college. I wanted to join this discord to; hopefully ask some questions and concerns, make a couple friends, and ease the move between small town America to big city Canada. One of my first days in this discord server I met a guy ‘19m’, in a voice call. We planned to play league with the other people inside but since my League of Legends was still downloading, he made a joke to play roblox and I was totally up for it. We vibed the entire call, talking till later at night and I think we had a good time together. It was just him and I by the end of the call. I didn’t get to know him well but there was a good amount of banter. I didn’t talk to him for about a week and if we did talk it was small things. I learned he played many instruments and this was quite impressive to me. I knew I was interested in him but I stayed back because of the fear of getting into a relationship. Eventually, a week later, I played a League game with him and our friends and this game was quite hard for me since I’m still learning and all my friends are at a higher level than me. After the game, he noticed I wasn’t really talking as much and I ended the call with my friends without a goodbye. He asked me if I was okay and asked to call me. In this call we talked about the League game and he told me not to feel bad about it. He made me feel better. We somehow talked about relationships and he said he wouldn’t get in a long distance relationship with someone unless they were in Toronto or planning to move there. (Which is something I am doing) I expressed my opinion and he asked me if he had scared me away. After this call I grew a crush on him and really liked texting him. But fear sunk in and it made me stressed to think about being so into someone when I’ve never had a good experience with relationships. In short I stopped talking to him and for six days we went on with no communication. Eventually I asked him how he was doing and he was really busy but he said he missed talking to me. I decided to try and be open to the feelings and went back to talking to him. I asked him why he never texted me first and he apologized and explained he was dealing with a lot. So anyway, today; we had been talking like normal but I voice called a friend of both of ours and talked to him about our different relationships possibilities. In this call, I was texting the guy and said that he made it hard to get to know since he told me the type of music he likes is a secret. He said “I’m not in a rush to get to know you so.” I told my friend this because this message made me confused and my friend said “damn that was so cold. My boy is a player. He basically just nuked you and made it obvious hes not interested in you” He went on for what seemed like a long time and I began to cry so I ended the call. I talked it out with him because he asked me if I was okay. I told him that he says stuff like that often and it makes me believe he has no interest in me. He told me he wants to keep some things a surprise since we have an opportunity to meet up for a date. He said that he wants to get to know me as friends since it will lead better into dating. My problem is, if he will not tell me fun things about himself and I we have three months till we can even go out on a date; how will this work? I want this to work out but I’m scared he will lose interest in the three months we cannot see eachother. Do I keep this going for three months till we can go on our first date? And is this a relationship worth pursuing?
Tl;DR