Hello everyone !
My girlfriend and I are both 21 , and have been happily together for a little over 3 years . Over the past year or so , my girlfriend has gained between 50 – 60 lbs . She is by all means still a beautiful girl , however over the past couple months in particular its began to take a toll on me .
I personally would consider myself to be a bit of a health nut , I'm very adamant about taking care of my body . When we first got together , I believed her to be similarly minded in that way . She was in phenomenal shape and was clearly health conscious as well . Yet , over the span of our relationship , I've watched her motivation to exercise and eat healthily gradually deteriorate , especially over the past year .
One factor that I think is playing a large role is that she works in her mother's salon , so she's always around her mom . Her mom always criticized her for being too "skinny" , and she often criticizes other women as well for the same . This always made my girlfriend very insecure and upset with her mother . However , now that she's gained a significant amount of weight , I see my girlfriend criticizing other girls in the same way that her mother always did .
Obviously love is about more than physical appearance , and there are endless things about my partner that I find incredibly attractive . However , Im very worried about this continuing to get worse . I've always been attracted to healthy women on the slimmer side , and this is beginning to negatively impact how physically attracted I am to my partner . We talk about spending the rest of our lives together and having a family one day , but having incompatible lifestyles health wise may be a dealbreaker for me . I want to grow old HEALTHILY with my partner .
How do I talk to her about her weight gain ? What do I do ?