Need advice. Gf’s insecurities and my busy work schedule.

6 comments

1. Communicate honestly about this, schedule dates maybe a week in advance if you can (even if it should be a short coffee break) and make sure to send her a text or a voice note on a regular basis. If you do like her and want to make this work, ask if there is anything else you can do to make her feel more comfortable.

   But there’s only so much you can do, the rest is on her. Early stages of a relationship are always a bit tough to navigate for an overthinker, I do speak from experience, but that’s why we have to work on our self confidence through pursuing our hobbies, work, passions… Her relationship anxiety shouldn’t be yours to fix. You can try your best to provide comfort, but she is the one who needs to learn how to handle these thoughts and feelings.

2. If she’s feeling that way it’s because she cares enough to worry if you’re still interested. If you haven’t communicated properly she is probably feeling like you may have lost interest or found someone else and keeping her on the back burner. Think of it this way, if things are in the early stages and she thinks you may have lost interest because you’re not communicating well then she could be worried that she’s wasting her time and yours if she feels like she’s chasing after you with little results. I agree with the comment above, ask her what would make her feel more comfortable. Even if you don’t have much time try to let her know you’re thinking of her often even if it’s a very short message here and there. Don’t give up yet, just communicate a little more. With all the jerks out there that women have to deal with she may really value what she has with you and maybe she’s just feeling frustrated because it’s hard to tell the difference between someone that’s truly busy and someone that is keeping a low profile because they have other interests or they aren’t interested anymore but don’t have the courage to break up. In the world of dating too many people are not honest and that makes it hard to know what anyone’s thinking or wanting without good communication. And if there’s little communication and she’s unsure how to bring it up it could come off as her sounding insecure when really it’s stuff all women would question when someone isn’t communicating with them. Tell her you want to make sure she knows how you feel about her since you’ve been busy. Let her know that your looking forward to seeing her when you do finally get time. And remind her often.

3. I’d also say open communication is key. And if that doesn’t help, it might have nothing to do with you but her insecurities. And then, it’s mostly a decision to stay and deal or to leave I would say.

4. Why are you not telling her this? Are you kidding me right now? Smh

5. I just dumped a guy who decided to act up during finals. And knowing he’d be a baby about it, I even pre-emptively said, “This is what is going on in my life right now. I need to focus on my career. It’s not that I don’t care about you but I am not going to be focusing on you until around May 20.”

   It took him about a week to pick a fight about me not taking time for him. Even though I had explained. He picked a fight to try and draw my attention back to him, because he wants to be the center of attention.

   People like my ex and your soon-to-be ex are not for people like you and me. We can’t possibly give them the attention and validation they need while maintaining our separate lives and careers. They need to find someone else. And we need to find someone else, too.

6. Why need to break up? Why don’t you give her attention every now and then?