For some reason, I have a difficult time grasping certain activities that seem "simple" to most people. Merging in traffic, even though I'm in my mid 40s, is still very difficult for me, even though I've been driving for over 20 years. I recently did some wood working with a friend and was having an incredibly difficult time mirroring his instructions on how to carve away the wood.
This week, I'm taking a clay/pottery class, and I had an insanely hard time understanding the instructions, which seemed simple to everyone else. For some reason when I'm trying to explain that I can't seem to grasp the concept of what I'm doing, what everyone was hearing is anxiety or overthinking. But I really just can't seem to visualize or grasp how to mirror an instruction like that, it is like the woodworking thing.
People kept telling me "just let the clay speak to you" or "it will make sense as you do it," but one, I'm a working artist and I teach workshops on letting go of perfectionism and trusting the creative process, so I dont think it's that. I think I have some kind of hiccup in my 3D spatial processing or something, but everyone just thought I was being stubborn or difficult.
In this situation we were taking 2 or 3 3D shaped bases and building each one up brick by brick until they ultimately curved over into each other, while remaining hollow on the inside. While also keeping in mind all of the things that give the clay integrity. I just couldn't seem to wrap my head around how to build them towards each other, even though rationally I know this should be extremely simple. I also am by far the least experienced person in the class, so I am not sure if it's that. It's embarrassing and I can't seem to clearly explain myself.
I have had issues with being misunderstood all throughout life, not only in relation to this context, and while I accept who I am and don't necessarily need the validation of being understood, it's especially frustrating when I'm trying to learn something and I can get clearer instructions because it affects how people respond to what they perceive my problem to be vs what it is in my experience.