Here is a story and I would like to ask what I did wrong.
Two years ago I left Russia. It was one week after the war began. I feared that the government would hunt down everyone connected to the opposition, I feared conscription and I wanted nothing to do with the madness Russia jumped into.
And I was by far not the only one.
I was accepted into the University in another country and was granted a place in the dorm. So were a few other guys from the Russian Federation. It was a year ago when we were put in a single wing.
Most of them were a few years younger than me, and I even had a side job, as I arrived earlier and had a different type of visa. I took it upon myself to host a weekly dinner for our Russian company of 5-6 people, in the hope of granting them some comfort and making sure that they at least have some acquaintances in the foreign country. I bought all the products myself and spent a few hours each Saturday cooking them. I continued the weekly dinners throughout this year. In addition, I always tried to offer help whenever I could.
It's nearly impossible to stay in the dorm during the summer (there is no conditioner), so around February, I tried to ask several of the guys if they would like to rent an apartment together, starting in the summer. They all promised to think about it, saying that it was too early to care, and never came back to me with the answer. I dismissed it as absent-mindedness.
A month ago I learned that four of the guys agreed to rent an apartment together. In fact, they agreed upon it in January. But it never occurred to them to tell me, and when confronted they said that February was already too late to ask. This infuriates me to no end and I feel as if I was somehow used.
Am I entitled if I feel that way? Is that what's called "a nice guy syndrome"?
Could I be missing some subtle signs that my "help" all this time was a burden and if so, where was I supposed to be looking?