This guy was super into me. I told him that I found him attractive. He took that very well. We even had a good, long conversation after that (last week).
We stay back after class and study together but we weren’t supposed to do that last week. However, he got snarky during that conversation and told me to stay back. The day before I did that, I texted him informing him that I would be staying back. He bailed on me the next day. When I confronted him about it, he said that he did see my name pop up but he had received so many messages that he didn’t read them.
He texted me the next day and apologized. I asked him what his preferred method of communication was. He got back to me EXACTLY 24 hours later and said he doesn’t use his phone much so it would be best to talk to him in person. I found that weird bc he always used to get back to me within 2 hours before that. I was too angry to reply.
Two days later, he came and stood by my table (my friends were with me) with a friend (facing it) in hopes that I would say “hi”, I didn’t. The next day, he kept staring at me as I walked by him, again I ignored him.
His friend is still SUPER nice to me and I don’t know what’s happening.
My thoughts keep racing, maybe he’s trying to reject me or maybe I’m just overreacting. My friend says he’s trying to manipulate me. I don’t know if I should reach out. My ex was super manipulative so I’m scared that he might take advantage of me reaching out first.
5 comments
Sounds like he’s playing mind games and manipulating. Live your life and move on pls
It shouldn’t feel hard to communicate
Real men make their intention known. Not these foolish children’s games. Move on OP.
He is trying to manipulate you, but hear me out.
You’re kids. Still in school. You’ve both been told a lot of crap about how one “should” act when they like someone. 90% of what you’ve heard, what he’s heard, is complete garbage. But you aren’t old and experienced enough yet to sort the wheat from the chaff so you just go with what you’re told.
He’s been told, likely by one of his friends that he shouldn’t appear “too eager.” That explains the sudden drop from quick responses to 24hr waits. You were right to think that suspicious. He was told *”Wait a day, let her think you’re busy/aloof”* but he’s probably super into you and literally could not bear waiting longer than exactly one day, to the minute.
He came and stood by your table. He wants to be near you but he’s been told (by the same idiot friends) that he shouldn’t make it *look* like he’s there *for you*. So he’ll just stand around like a moron until it gets awkward enough that even he realizes he should probably move along.
So if you like him, just tell him *”Hey, you’re not fooling anybody. I know what you’re doing, and I know why you’re doing it. It’s cute, but also intolerable. So here’s your chance, ask me out right now and cut it out with the juvenile nonsense or leave me alone, I don’t date children.”* and get past that shit.
It seems like the two of you are playing games with each other. How exhausting it must be for each of you to try to second guess and overthink every move each of you makes. For heaven’s sake, if you like this guy and want to go out with him, tell him. Or he should tell you.
Maybe he feels overwhelmed since he knows you find him attractive and now isn’t too sure how to act around you. My experience with men is if they want you, they will show it or he is still immature and unsure how to process this information and where his feelings stand.
Playing “no speakies” and ignoring could also be confusing, honestly if you’re annoyed just say so as he isn’t a mind reader and see what his reaction is as to if the relationship is worth perusing.