Men of Reddit, Did/Do you have a friendship with a Woman way younger than you? How is/was it?

25 comments

1. Me? friendship? woman?

2. I’m 99% sure about the opposite. It never works out between men and women without anything going on. Friendship doesn’t work without affection/sympathy and especially between sexes, one thing leads to another if not bound to externalities which would make it unfortunate (work, friend’s partner..)

3. Don’t engage in unnecessary physical contact. It could send the wrong message.
   Always maintain a few inches distance between you, under the guise of giving him space.

4. It sounds like he’s begging to be accused of something.

5. [deleted]

6. Yes, I’m 48 she’s 28, we’re friends from running. It’s great! She ran Div 1 in college and is trying to B qualify for the women’s marathon. She’s a great running partner and friend. I’m headed over to her apt to help her move into her first house later thus morning. She helped me when I was remodeling my house. She’s just like a guy friend. I have no romantic interest in her whatsoever. She’s a friend.

7. I was friends with a girl who was 18 while I was 21 and it ended pretty badly. We were just friends and I’d thought I made it clear but she wanted more which I found out at a party. After many unwanted advances the night was over and I put her to bed. The following morning she was butt hurt that I rejected her advances and told people I left her with bruises. Fortunately my character showed and she got tossed to the gutter. I’ve had other friends that were girls and there were no issues, no advances just a friendship that I value very much.

8. One of my (f32) best friends is a man (m42). He is more of a brother and treats me as such. There is never any physical touching, when we go out we typically always have our kids or significant others with us. We don’t hang out in private places. We will go to sports bars for lunches, but never anywhere romantic and never alone in our homes. I can’t speak for him, but there is no attraction on my end, and he’s always treated me with the utmost respect and brotherly affection. It can happen. (Also I’ve known him since I was 9, we’ve been besties for about 15 years)

9. Men. Do. Not. Have. Friendships. With. Women.

   A man will, 100% wait in the ‘wings’ and will most definitely jump at sex if the opportunity presents itself. Period.

10. I’m 53 and have a female friend who is now 26. We met years ago but started hanging out about 5 years ago. She’s the daughter of a friend. I can’t say I didn’t find her attractive then, but am married, and she did admit to having a crush on me initially. Nothing ever happened between us, but I did officiate her wedding a few weeks ago.

11. As a woman in my 30s, I’ve had a close friendship with a guy in his 50s. It’s mostly centered around playing music together, but we definitely hang out outside that context and dish about our lives. I’ve never felt attraction to him, or gotten uncomfortable. We definitely have unspoken boundaries established.

12. A gap like that raises all kinds of flags imo. Lookin at where a 22 year old barely adult woman is at in life vs a 40 yo adult man… not a whole lotta common ground there

    I’m mid 30s and wouldn’t even go there unless it’s a rare case. Acquaintance at most unless the person and I manage to have a lot of common ground

13. 22 and 40 is a non starter. What are you lookign for and why?

14. I’m a 36 year old man, who does have a 27 year old female friend.

    If he invites you to places where there is alcohol as a primary form of drink, he wants to have sex with you.

    * This includes: clubs and bars
    * Exceptions are food places that just happen to have alcohol on the menu, but are otherwise primarily for eating
    * If he invites you out at night alone with him, that’s a date. It doesn’t matter where he’s invited you to go or what activity to attend, or how he couches it.

    If he communicates with you in a way that *could otherwise be misinterpreted* ***by any other person*** *as flirtatious*, he wants to have sex with you.

    * i.e. kissing emojis

    She does not sit on my lap. We do not hold hands. I don’t physically console her with hugs. She can get a hand on the shoulder and words of affirmation. But we ain’t hugging. When we greet or separate, it’s fistbumps all the way down.

    If he does want to have sex with you, he may actually value your friendship enough to never mmake the move. And you’ll have to take that into consideration.

    There is the additional issue of intention that you bring up. I *would* have sex with my female friend. I’d have sex with a number (but not all) of my female friends.

    But that’s not my intention. I don’t actually *want* to have sex with her, any more than I *want* to **fight** my male friends, but *would.* In both cases, they’re still my friends. You’ll also have to balance that however you can.

15. I’m friends with a 72 year old lady who’s an artist in my neighborhood. And many former clients who are now friends and good acquaintances. It is the same like with any other friendship.

16. This can be tricky …. I have had guys pretend to be my friend for years and the second I started seeing someone they started to get a shitty attitude. If you really are friends then nothing you say or do could be taken the wrong way . It is just very important that you make it clear that you don’t have any kind of attraction or feelings and if there was any chance you started getting them you won’t play games or leave clues you will say it out loud

17. As you have probably noticed there is quite the diversity here. I would argue that the diversity seen here presents the real world statistics. So some men can have female friends and some don’t. If you met through some shared hobby or interest there is better odds with having an actual friendship with him. If you met in a social event of some kind then I personally would be a bit doubtful.

    Someone already said that at least avoid giving any mixed messages. Also meeting with other friends is not a bad idea. I hope he sees your friendship as platonic as you do.

    I don’t really have female friends to be exact but I do have a lot of female colleagues. I have zero romantic feelings towards them and I am happy to spent time with them outside of work as well. I don’t consider the age as a factor but naturally we share some common interests.

18. No.

    I don’t think I would have much in common with a woman twenty years younger than me.

19. He wants to fuck you.

20. I’m not yet 30 so can’t really gauge where I’ll be at 40 but I don’t think I could be good friends with a woman with that big of an age difference. Either older than me or younger. At my age now I hardly have anything in common with 20 year old girls.

    I’m a social guy too. I make friends easily. I can easily find something to have in common with most people. I’ve worked jobs with people of all ages and have been on good terms with them. Forming a close friendship with someone half my age at that point just seems too weird.

21. I’m 30, I have friends ranging from 20 to 50+ years old. Yes, people can be friends with all kinds of age gaps.

    But also be wary, usually when an older guy approaches a younger woman, like 90% of the time they want sex.

22. I have a coworker half my age with whom I hang out at work. She’s got a really interesting PoV, that I truly appreciate. She’s fun to talk to. Like me, her personal life is an open book.

    In the end, though, it’s just friendship because I’m a little less than twice her age, I’m a married father of an adult, and she’s a single mom of three young kids.

23. Every older woman I’ve seen that was acting like a “friend” to a younger guy was simply testing the waters and waiting to escalate it to something sexual. It’s easier for women to get away with because no one calls them a pedophile or pervert for trying to pick up much younger guys.

24. How is your relationship with your father?

25. I do.

    She was my partner in the police. We became extremely close, very quickly. We’re both out the job now, but still chat regularly and meet when we can.