Me and my girlfriend (m and f) have been in a relationship for a couple of years.
We are in our early 20s so we started dating when we were still teens.
She had some experience in being intimate, specifically kissing/making out.
I didn't really have any experience though.
Anyway, when we got together we made out relatively often and she was the one initiating almost every time.
Eventually for some reason we kinda just stopped kissing.
We had a bunch of convos regarding intimacy, and I expressed my lack of… skill? when it comes to making out. honestly, people just say that you get the hang of it when you do it, but I never figured it out.
At this point, we've had oral sex more but even that is rare.
Main point is, over the years we made making out less and less frequent, as well as any form of sex.
Please keep in mind that I never come to reddit for relationship advice. this is the first time. because we really don't have any communication issues.
but we ve reached a point where we can't communicate about the topic of intimacy in particular.
We have grown to cringe at the idea of kissing, and are more hesitant towards it, would rather not do it. same goes for any kind of sex.
I can't lie, we live our every day lives normally and time passes, but sometimes I do think to myself that our relationship might be doomed and we're still so young.
neither of us is seeing anyone else. I can guarantee you that, so it's not like we are getting sex or kissing from elsewhere.
the only physical part of our relationship is hugging and sometimes touching which comes only from me.
you could say that maybe she's not the touchy type and likes a more emotional relationship than physical, and that it's the way she perceives love.
however, as I mentioned before, she wasn't like this before and nothing happened to change her like this.
what do I do to save the situation? she doesn't initiate anything at all anymore. every time we were sexually intimate I was the one initiating.
we've had a conversation where I told her that I feel like she doesn't want to be intimate with me.
she said that it's not the case, she reassured me and we even argued about it.
I've begged her multiple times that she at least initiates in the way of showing me that she wants to do something sexual.
she said multiple times she would do it and try, since she herself admitted that she wants to be intimate with me.
I try my best not to pressure her into anything. I haven't mentioned a thing about our intimacy for months now and nothing has changed. we haven't kissed in months or done anything sexual.
other times I initiated I thought she would want to as I thought she was hinting it, but she would just turn me down.
again, because I'm going around in circles, the tldr is that I'm in a long term relationship and we've had very little intimacy throughout all these years, we've talked about it but nothing ever changed and I don't know what to do, because I really require intimacy in the relationship and I really don't want to break up over it and neither does she.
what do you suggest?