i don't know why i keep doing this to myself. there's this guy who just doesn't care about me. he's told me one time i'm ugly, makes fun of me, and constantly puts me down. yet, for some reason, i keep reaching out to him. i'm always the one to call first, always the one to make the effort.
it hurts so much because sometimes we do have great conversations, but most of the time, he just makes me feel like crap. he loves to mention other women just to make me jealous. i'm exhausted and feel so lonely. my self-esteem is in the gutter, and i don't know how to break this cycle.
i need to stop being so available to someone who doesn't value me, but it's so hard when i feel this lonely. how do i find the strength to let go? 😭