Background/TMI: I’m a 39yo male that was once coerced into performing oral sex on an older man. No this isn’t not something that happened recent.
I’ve never questioned my sexuality, I’ve never been attracted to men, I hate anal sex, giving or receiving. I’ve always been with women, and I have a huge fascination with them, trust me.
That being said, I can’t stop watching g blowjob porn. I’m so fascinated watching a beautiful woman use her mouth to orally pleasure a man.
Something about watching it is such a turn to me that it makes me want to become the woman in the porn.
Deep down I have a kink for wanting to suck a big fat cock again. It’s so wrong. I’m not gay.
Basically, I was ‘orally-raped’ and not I’m fantasizing about it happening again.
Someone help, there has to be a name for this kink or trauma related philia.