UPDATE- everything is fine he didn’t react how I expected, that doesn’t mean he won’t act out once I’m there… I’ll update …
Long story short my lovely husband has anger issues. We are a broken record. I say something, he gets mad – raises his voice, I cry, he yells more, I cry MORE. My mother begged me to go with her because she doesn't want to go alone, but I dont want to go. I dont love going! Don't get me wrong, I realize how lucky I am, not many have the same opportunity, but I am only doing this for my mother. I have been so afraid to tell my husband, I've been trying to tell him for over a month but I am too afraid to know his reaction. He says I think for him and need to stop but I can see him shutting me out and making my life miserable until I leave and while i'm there. It has happened before. If i ask to go out to see my sister or out to eat with my mother. It's all the same. I stopped hanging out with my two best friends and inviting them over because each time it was the same reaction. I would go through hell just for wanting to have a little fun and would not enjoy myself because knowing he was mad or upset made ME upset. I know he is insecure but I always try to reassure him he is all I think about. He has access to whatever he wants,but never does so. Neither do I. He says awful things when he is angry, I get very depressed from them I guess that is primarily why I am afraid of making him mad. I have let him know thats the reason, but he says he doesn't think when he's mad….
I realize the situation I am in, you do not need to waste your time telling me to leave him I am as stubborn as they come. I will learn one day! I just needed to spill what is going on inside my head.