I (15M) am incredibly anxious all of the time, In my 7 month relationship (also 15M), I need some advice on how to manage myself. I have an underlying history of anxiety, but it’s never been this bad before. It’s not his fault; I trust him more than I’ve trusted anyone else, and I feel secure in the relationship. But I can’t shake it. Sparing details, my last relationship was abusive, and I’ve had a horrible pattern with people I hang around with my whole life. This is my first healthy relationship, and I constantly feel like I’m ruining it. I do this with everyone, but it’s particularly bad here. I just get so worried that I’m messing something up, and then I worry that my worrying will stress him out and ruin it more. I don’t bring it up often, partly because I feel annoying if I do but also because those conversations usually only end up being about my own feelings. I don’t blame him for this whatsoever, but I am also freaked out because I know he wouldn’t tell me if he was upset by something in the moment. He’s had past issues in this area, so I worry about pushing him whatsoever, but I can’t tell how he’s doing often, and it’s scary. He’s been on the verge of panic attacks and still says he’s fine. I know he’s trying, and I really appreciate what he can do. I just am really unsure about how I should handle myself here and I’m not sure what I should do to regulate myself better? I’ll respond to any questions anyone has about our situation if I didn’t clarify enough.
TL;DR I am very anxious about “ruining” my relationship despite being assured I won’t and my boyfriend can’t fully talk about how he feels due to stuff from his past. And I need advice on managing myself