27 f married to 28 m. Been together 5 years and married for 3.
Just to preface he’s a very sweet amazing guy and happy to be married. Sex has been up and down tho and always a thing we have been working on and trying to find ways to improve. He came into the relationship with no much experience and a lot of our sex life in the beginning was me teaching him. For me I think I found it kind of adorable to teach him and he was an eager learner at first. But this dynamic kind of overshadowed maybe some issues in sexual chemistry that were always there.
He’s always had issues with premature ejaculation since the beginning. But we found ways to keep going and work around it so sex wouldn’t be over when he came or we would do a round 2.
Now for the last 2 years or so he still has that same issue but it’s coupled with having trouble staying hard. It’s weird he’s totally fit and healthy but he needs to cum literally within 2 minutes or he starts getting soft. It turned into this delicate balancing act because I want to do lots of foreplay but he wants to put it in and cum so he doesn’t go soft. The sex became so awkward and unsatisfying with worrying about this. I finally convinced him to try an ED medication but he felt heart palpitations and still just came super fast and doesn’t want to use it often. To his credit he’s willing to go down on me with no expectation of anything – but to me that just isn’t as sexy and two people both wanting it.
I feel like the sex now is “bad”. I can’t tell him that to his face because I feel like it’s almost out of his control and feels like me just saying the same thing over and over. I feel really bad in how I feel so frustrated. It scares me to think it might only get worse from here on out because that has been the trend so far. But on the other hand he is such an amazing supportive partner who cares about me and listens. I could be just having super high expectations and looking with nostalgia to past experiences and expecting so much.