I'm going to be honest, I am a bit embarrassed posting this.. as I really just came to a huge realization over the past few weeks of how stupid I have been when it comes it this man. After I had our daughter, I discovered my husband had cheated on me with an ex from his early highschool days. This wasn't just a fling, it was a full blown affair. I was a month postpartum when I found out, fighting postpartum depression and healing from a 3rd degree tear. When I found out, I kicked him out and he ultimately ended the relationship with the girl. (So I thought).. We were separated for almost a year when he showed me he had "changed" by going to therapy for sex addiction. I stupidly took him back and things were seemingly well. I recently discovered not only was he still seeing her the whole time we were separated and he was "working on himself".. but I also discovered he had attempted to meet up with her while we were in town visiting family. He begged me not to leave, and it really just ended unresolved, as I was so mentally exhausted I just shut down. It has been a few months now and everyday it eats away at me and circles my mind night and day. A week ago we came back into town to visit family and I went to use his phone to take a snapchat video of our daughter and I since my phone was dead. When I went to send the photo to myself I seen an unfamiliar name popped up so I did what you're not supposed to do. When i opened the chat I discovered he had tried to make plans to meet up with this girl. He had gotten her phone number, they exchanged photos of themselves, etc and they seemingly didn't even know each other personally. I instantly felt the way I did all the other times I discovered the dirt. I haven't confronted him yet, because every time I do he talks circles around me. It somehow always ends up my fault and I somehow accept it or just shut down. I don't understand why it always ends the same, even when I have plans for a serious conversation it always gets turned upside down. I can't take it anymore. The lying, the girls, the arguments that he wants me to pretend never happened the next day. It's eating me alive and I want out. I don't deserve this, my daughter doesn't deserve to see any of this. Although we never argue in front of her, I know kids can pick up on things. I don't think he will ever change and I know I cannot live my life like this. I'm too young for this. How do I tell him I'm done and actually stand my ground? I can't explain it, but every single time everything ends up flipped around and my mind can't even fully grasp how or why.
TL;DR My husband cheated a month after I had our daughter, after separating and getting back together, he tried to meet up with the girl from the affair. I discovered he also tried to meet up with a girl recently while we were visiting family. I know he won't change, and the conversations always end up flipped around somehow. I want to leave, but how do I tell him I'm done?