I had a set of boudoir photos done over Christmas, and gave a set to my husband as a gift. (I did it for me, but with him in mind obviously!) They turned out really nice – the photographer is awesome and so talented. She asked me if she could post a few from my set on her website as part of her gallery/portfolio, and I agreed. It was flattering to be asked, I will admit, and they show a lot of skin but they aren’t, like, *bad*.
Anyway, I found out over the weekend that my husband sent the link to the portfolio photos to a couple of people – his sister (who asked about them and is considering doing her own) and also friend of his. This surprised and annoyed me! He said he didn’t think it was an issue since they are on a public website anyway, which is a fair point. But I guess I would have liked to be asked first.
Am I being a baby about this?
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His sister is one thing, if she was looking to get them done. But his random friend? That’s weird and I would be upset about that
Maybe just set a going forward type rule.
It sounds like he had no I’ll intentions.
But he crossed a boundary, that he didn’t know you had.
It’s fair for you to be upset that he crossed a boundary, but I think to move forward he just needs to understand where the line is for you, so that he doesn’t do it again.
Since the website is public, I can totally understand why he didn’t ask you first. They are already out there in full view for anyone to see. I’m sure he was just pleased to share these beautiful images of you. Let this go.
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Did you talk to him before agreeing to let them be put on the website? (Not ask permission but give him a heads up)
If not he probably thought it wasn’t something that needed to be discussed.
It’s on a website, so I understand him sharing without asking. It’s already out there. It’s no longer private.
At least he sent them to the web site and did not share his. I dont think this would be the hill to die on, Look at it this way he obviously thinks they are great and he is proud of them and since the ones are public domain he has a way to kind of brag and say look who I get to go home to. Take it as a compliment.
Internet is one of the four medias along side tv, radio and print.
You did agree to publish the pictures on that site who is public for everyone to see.
Everyone who have the right to share and view them as long as its within the websites copyright rules.
Im sorry, but dont publish images free for the public if you dont like people seeing them.
Maybe for him the question was asked and answered when photographs were put on the *public* website.
> But I guess I would have liked to be asked first.
You were, by the photographer. You consented to your photos being promotional material.
Your husband is a secondary receiver of their services and they really liked their work so he’s giving the photographer word of mouth; and showing off their work – his favorite examples being of you.
This isn’t a situation where you took naughty pics just for him and he’s showing off to this friends in which your feelings would be justified; What’s going on here is everything working as intended. Your photos are a part of the artist’s body of work that is being used to promote their services and happy clients are spreading the word.
Maybe it’s a little shocking to see it at work, but you signed up for this.
I don’t think this is malicious on his side at all, you agreed to the photos being posted in a public setting and that to me says you’re ok with the public seeing them. It’d be totally different if they weren’t but it’s not like he’s making wallet sized portraits for everyone, he’s just talking about his life and it probably came up.
If you have a problem with it now I think that’s just one of those things you didn’t see this side of when you agreed to the posting, it happens. Just let him know you’re ok with it being promotional material but maybe don’t advertise to your personal circle, if they find it on their own great but like maybe don’t spread it intentionally. There’s no reason you guys can’t have a conversation about this because nobody is the bad guy here, just a misunderstanding.
“..the photographer is awesome and so talented. She asked me if she could post a few from my set on her website as part of her gallery/portfolio, and I agreed.”
Since these photos are on a public website already the only potential damage is if you are concerned with what your sister-in-law thinks of you.
The photographer posted the photos publicly to generate more business for herself.
Essentially what you husband did was provide his sister with a referral for a good photographer to shoot her pictures. Going forward you can ask your husband not to share them without asking you first.
Nevertheless, even if he just gave his sister the photographer’s website your pictures are there for the viewing. Also anyone who Googles the photographer can see them.
However, at this point there is no upside to dwelling over what’s already happened.
The pictures came out great and both you and your husband are happy with them.
Best wishes!
I could see your husband being a little more sensitive to just sending them to HIS FRIENDS!! That’s fucked up. Keep in mind just because something isn’t illegal or especially evil, doesn’t mean it’s right. I’m sorry your husband violated y’all’s trust.
You were asked to make the photos public and agreed to it. In fact. Took it as a compliment. I don’t think he’s in the wrong here. It’s a huge compliment from him, as well.
Yes