We’ve been together since we were 18. She was my first everything while she had been with a few men before me. This never bothered me I’m not a jealous person.
At the start we would have sex a lot but then it slowed down like I heard it would until within two years it was practically nothing. We bought our first house when we were 22 and didn’t have sex in it until at least a year afterwards. With her being my first and me working with a load of older guys who constantly complains about getting nothing from their wives I just assumed this was normal.
I have tried to talk to her numerous times over the years but she just said this is how women are especially as they get older and with her being my only girlfriend I didn’t really question it. I’d talk to friends and they’d all say they wish they got more from their wives and girlfriends so I again kind of tricked myself in to thinking this was normal.
The last time she really touched me was on my 35th birthday. We had sex and then she went back to her bedroom. I’ve kind of made my peace with it, well I thought I had, as I love her so much and would put up with anything for her.
Earlier today we were talking as a couple we know has split up and it got us on to the conversation. I said if we split up I couldn’t ever imagine myself living with another woman again and I’d never get married again. That’s when she said “yeah I’d just live alone and just have a few fuck buddies to come round a couple of times a week to sort me out”. I felt sick to my stomach and immediately said “well why don’t you let me sort you out then?” She just said “it’s not the same, it’s different when you’re single” and put the tv on.
It felt like my world came crashing down. I suppose I could live like this if I knew she had no sexual desires but it’s different knowing that she does and it’s just me who does nothing for her! I look after myself, I go gym every other day, I shower twice a day, my teeth are perfect and I don’t have a single filling, I do 100% of the cooking, at least 50% of the cleaning, 100% of the dog care, I literally built the house we live in so I can do any DIY and I’m also good with cars so we never have to pay anyone for anything repair related.
I’ve suggested couples counselling, sex therapy, all sorts of things to spice up our sex love and got told no to it all. How do I get over this? I can’t stop crying thinking we are over.
Tldr: wife won’t touch me but said if she was single she’d have a few fuck buddies to sort her out. I’m crushed.