I just got broken up with by my girlfriend of 9 months because she says she feels embarrassed because she can’t make me ejaculate. This has been an ongoing issue throughout my whole life and has been the only issue I’ve had in this relationship. I’ve been to doctors and therapists about this and all signs seem to point to childhood trauma as the cause of the issue. I’ve tried giving up masturbation and porn to fix this but nothing has worked. I’m still able to reach an orgasm but nothing comes out of me. Things came to a head two days ago after sex with my girlfriend where she became depressed and suggested I get another woman on the side to have sex with since she didn’t feel like she could satisfy me and always feels humiliated because she can’t make me ejaculate
I’m not really sure if there’s anything that can be done to fix things, but I just kind of wanted to get all of this off of my chest.
5 comments
Is she confusing ejaculate with orgasm? Why would you being able to reach orgasm but not ejaculating be a problem?
Have you spoken with her about, what I can assume, would be you being sexually satisfied?
The fact that you have been to healthcare professionals, that said the exact same thing is off to me. I would recommend learning more about this condition, asking other therapists or even trying another path such as acupunctures, pelvic floor therapy or anything that can help. Also getting a thorough health evaluation. These kinds of problems may be related to so many other things. For example I had problems with high BP, and had to undergo multiple examinations of my organs, later found out what the problem was. Ultimately, patience and persistence are key, finding the right approach can sometimes take time. I believe you will find a solution soon!
Childhood trauma is the worst. Being sexually abused by a family member and being bullied almost to death made sex impossible for me until my mid-20s. Couldn’t be naked in front of anyone. Also couldn’t cum from intercourse for a year after I became sexually active. (That was likely more a result of death grip, as I could ejaculate from masturbation.)
I feel for you and understand how deeply it can scar all aspects of our lives–sex included.
Have you talked to a urologist about this? You’re able to orgasm so this feels *really* off. Better to at least check that off of your list.
Be well, I’m sorry this is an issue for you.
Can you finish manually? If you’re able to finish on your own you could with her. Unless, she’s just lazy and decides when y’all are done based on when she’s the only one done. And as elementary as it sounds, it depends a lot on the puss. Some just don’t make us ejaculate
I don’t know your age or health situation. There are medications that have similar side effects. Several prostate medications can cause this issue.