i (20f) have never really been too into masturbation before and it’s something i’m struggling with. i lost my sex drive for a long time and didn’t have sex for almost 4 years, and during that time i only really started masturbating towards the later half of it which was good and really helped me kinda figure out what i liked when i started having sex again.
however i don’t always find masturbation that pleasurable and find it’s usually more work and effort than i like to put in, however like every adult i have a sex drive and occasionally need to get off.
i have a couple different FWBs i see when i can but there are some complications in my life i won’t get into, that makes it that i’m not able to see one of them the second i wanna get off obviously, which leaves me sometimes weeks/months without sex.
i’ve noticed a recent problem tho, every time i’ve tried to get off by myself i start crying midway through and i don’t really know why. it’s happened to me at least the last three times i’ve tried and they have all been spread a part. and it obviously really ruins the mood.
this hasn’t happened during any of my recent hook ups so i don’t know why it’s happening when i’m by myself, maybe i am feeling more vulnerable when it’s just me? or i’m thinking of the wrong stuff to get off too.
i don’t have a lot of females friends so i’m really struggling finding someone to talk to about this, i’m just curious if this is something anyone else deals with or if it’s just me.