I'm not entirely sure how to explain this situation, my boss is a pretty chill guy lol. He's someone I can look up to and if we were closer I'd say he's like the older brother I never had. We have hung out after work, doing car work and we've done a few road trips.
Now I have problems with, 1. Showing people what I think of them – I tend to be cold and don't talk much – especially in "bigger" groups (anything over 3). I work with 6 guys.
- Seemingly with anyone older my energy just dies. When I'm with my friends I'm cracking jokes and being myself. With boss I'm having more serious conversations (which isn't bad but then he goes and talks to other coworkers and they have a grand ol' time. Trying to not be jealous) and any jokes/topics are forced.
I've tried texting him outside work for little things, showing off my fish tank we talked about at work or saying something about the thing he posted to his story. The last time he left me on read (big deal but I'll add it). However sometimes I can't tell if he's responding cause he wants to or feels obligated, but it's the only way I can think of to show I care.
I've thought about saying what I'm feeling but if I'm "just a coworker" that would make things kinda awkward. Do I just keep doing what I'm doing, if he wants to further it he'll reach out (With the risk of being annoying), or do I need to be the one to make the first step and admit what I want? If I go this route do I say the social skills problems and that's why I seem distant? I don't wanna trauma dump on the guy
TLDR: want a deeper relationship with boss, not sure if I should keep trying or if I'm being clingy/over stepping
PS. I noticed I called him boss this entire time, I might just be intimidated and that's my problem? I didn't have an urge to be better friends till recently and I've known him for 2 years. Might still be thinking in "don't get fired mode"?