Ok, throwaway account because this is so shameful to me. Ig I’m just posting to see if anyone else has this, or to know if it’s normal or not.
I have a kink for pregnancy/childbirth. Both involving myself, and watching other women. As a preteen, before I even knew that what I was experiencing was sexual, I would watch YouTube birth vlogs and stuff. It wasn’t until a year or two ago that I realized this was a kink of mine.
I know exactly why and how it came to be. As a child, my grandma (who was a nurse) would babysit me and my siblings frequently, and would watch this show about midwives, which featured a lot of birth scenes. You always hear about how kinks can be caused by wires in your brain getting mixed, and I genuinely believe that’s what happened to me. I found the show fascinating as a kid (though I was embarrassed to admit it), and something about seeing these women in (somewhat) sexual positions, while moaning and groaning, definitely made the act appear sexual to me, and now here I am, years later, afflicted by this unfortunate kink.
I say kink and not fetish, because it is not something that is required for me to get off. I feel shame now, thinking about how I would get off to videos of women giving birth (either real or pornography), and the consensual aspects of that.
I want to make it very clear, that I do not condone incest/pedophilia. I know with a kink like this, that question can arise, and I want to assure that I am not attracted to the children or babies involved in pregnancy. I also do not just drool over random pregnant women I happen to see out and about, this is only in a sexual context and setting.
I suppose I am just curious to see if anyone else has this issue. If I could get rid of this kink, I would. To me I just find it so embarrassing and can’t imagine sharing it with my future partner.
EDIT:
Firstly, I am shocked at how much this post as blown up, and am increasingly in awe of the amount of supportive, kind, and understanding comments. I’m also increasingly glad I didn’t post this on my actual account- things got quite vulnerable lol.
I recognize that a lot of my fears and shame stem from my OCD, as I’ve mentioned in a few responses. Part of my OCD that I struggle with the most is intrusive thoughts, and a fear of being a bad or “deviant” person. Thank you to all the people in the comments who acknowledged that and provided me with some well needed reassurance.
For those wondering why I mentioned my sexual orientation, it’s just something that I felt may provide some context, as this is a kink I’ve seen more commonly among straight men and women.
Again, thank you so much for leaving such a positive array of messages, and thank you to those who opened up and shared some of their own stories. It really did make me feel better to know that I’m not alone. I guess despite being otherwise pretty vanilla, this is just the one thing about me that may be a bit unconventional, lol.
Also, to those who guessed the show in the comments, kudos to you. If anyone here is looking for a good medical period drama, I 100% recommend Call The Midwife. Very educational and entertaining!