My (21M) boyfriend and I (20F) have been together for longer than 5 years. He has adhd which was severe at first but died down over the years. He’s explained that his adhd makes him impulsive and because of this he is often blunt and says things without realizing they can sound rude at times. I’ve already discussed with him many times that he can sound rude and he’s made great changes. Now he barely does it.
Prior to this incident my sister and my boyfriend weren’t extremely close but they were civil and would converse with each other normally as acquaintances. On one particular day we all went to a sushi restaurant and I announced that I would be paying for everyone including me, my boyfriend, my sister, and her boyfriend (24M). Prior to coming here I told my boyfriend I didn’t have that much money and I would be just paying for only our meals.
When I announced that I would be paying for everyone my boyfriend asked me why I was paying for them and he asked it multiple times while they were there. I’m going to be honest and say it did look bad and sounded rude. He asked in a curious way but it was a rude question at the end of the day. After that happened and we were back home I asked him why he did that because it did sound rude and he told me that he didn’t mean to be rude and was asking because he knew I didn’t have enough money and was looking out for me.
I explained to him that it was still rude and months from that time period he has improved to the point where he thinks more before he talks because he knows he can be impulsive. Overtime my boyfriend ended up moving to a different state and now see doing long distance but during his time away she expressed that she thought what he did was rude and that she didn’t like it. Before my boyfriend did speak to her and tell her that if she had any concerns with him she could let him know and correct it. Basically being mature.
When this sushi situation happened she did not say anything but held more of a grudge it seems. I explained to her that he didn’t mean it in a rude way but what he said was still rude. We got in an argument and she brought that situation up again and she even blamed him for doing things he didn’t do so I could tell she was still stuck on that months later.
Fast forward to recently, my boyfriend came over to visit me and he was acting as normal. He said hello to her. Went out of his way to say hello to her and her boyfriend even when they were outside and would try to joke in a friendly way but she was cold. She didn’t really look him in the eye. Whenever he would try to say something to her there were times when she would ignore him. She was just acting really weird. It’s been months and she’s still acting the same way and it’s ruining how we all used to spend time together. He tries to be friendly but now he’s starting to give up.
TLDR: My sister is being weird towards my boyfriend