I'm a 26F and my boyfriend (29M) have been together for 7 months and recently moved in together about 4 months ago. Our relationship is generally great—we share similar interests and communicate really well.
Originally, the plan was for him to move to my home city, where the cost of living is much cheaper. However, due to a job change, he couldn't work remotely anymore, so I made the decision to leave my hometown, family, and friends to be with him. We found a great apartment with a reasonable price, but here's where the challenge starts.
My boyfriend has had a history of gambling, which led to some pretty severe debt. While he’s working hard to pay it off (he now earns twice his previous salary), most of his income goes toward that, so I cover around 70% of our living expenses. I’m okay with this and have been doing my best to support him emotionally, helping him regain his confidence. At home, I do most of the chores to create a calm environment for him, and it seems to be helping as he's in a much better place now.
Now, onto the issue: I have two cats that moved in with me. My boyfriend loves them and enjoys being a cat-dad, but his mom (65F) is allergic and has always been fearful of cats, which seems to have influenced him and his sister too. She refuses to visit our place because of the cats, which we manage by visiting her instead.
However, yesterday, when we visited his grandma (85F), she suddenly said she would never eat anything I cook at home because of the cats. She then went on about how I’m endangering her grandson’s health by having the cats around, even though he has no allergies anymore. She even suggested that I should get rid of them and made it seem like I’m being disrespectful by keeping them.
When my boyfriend came in during the conversation, he didn’t defend me or the cats, just said we had to leave because we had other plans. Later, he told me he feels stuck in the middle and can't really blame either of us.
I'm feeling lost and unsure how to handle this. I respect his family, but I also love my cats and don't believe they’re causing any harm. What should I do? How should I react to this situation?
TL;DR: I (26F) moved in with my boyfriend (29M) and brought my two cats. His mom (65F) and grandma (85F) are against it, with grandma demanding I get rid of them. My boyfriend didn’t defend me and says he feels stuck. How should I handle this?