I literally don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I’m not awkward or shy, I’m actually social and I can hold conversations.
Every time I ask to hang out a “friend”, they often decline yet will hang out with loads of other people freely and it seems as if I’m just a burden to them.
On social media, barely anybody texts me first and it’s constantly me who has to start the convo with people, only for them to reply with a dry answer, leave me on delivered, or just open it and ignore it completely. I wouldn’t mind if they did this to everyone, but it always seems to just be me.
But the heartbreaking thing is that even people with shared interests don’t want anything to do with me. I’m a massive film nerd but I have very few people to discuss filmic topics with, usually because they don’t care. There’s people I try and discuss new films with but they give nothing back, yet they will chat their ass off about it to loads of other people.
At uni, there was a local online cinephile group. We met up for the first time and they never really texted me after. Then they would continuously have movie nights behind my back and never invited me out. If I ever invited them, they’d always say no. Then I saw they had a Disney themed costume party which I would’ve died to go to; the fact they knew I was Disney obsessed yet didn’t invite me absolutely tore me apart. Again, everyone else gets included except me, yet there’s nothing bad I’ve done wrong.
Every opportunity I get to expand my social network, it just never improves and it’s just decaying my mental health at this point.