At a loss

My (33F) husband (35M) and I are stuck in the roommate phase once again. I feel like I’m always the one saying something about it, initiating intimacy, and/or the only one trying to get out us out of the roommate phase. We have a toddler and twins on the way so I know some of this is natural in parenthood. But there’s literally no physical or verbal affection. He doesn’t even say bye to me when he leaves for work anymore. Just our toddler. Every time I bring this up, he accuses me of wanting to start an argument once a month to “find” something to argue about. No, I really don’t. I just want to be in an actual marriage. He’s very active in our toddler’s life, a great dad, is constantly doing stuff around the house. I mean I feel like maybe I shouldnt complain and maybe I’m asking too much. I don’t know. I’m sure he’s tired. I am too. We both have heavy loads to carry. He works night shift and I work from home during the day while watching our toddler. There’s always some unfinished project we are working on if we are not chasing the toddler. But I want to be able to bond with my husband again.