I’m having a lot of trouble with overthinking my relationship as far as consent goes. I think it’s just my anxiety and OCD trying to convince me something is wrong. But at the same time, it’s important to have boundaries and talk about consent. I’m in a somewhat new relationship and we haven’t had sex yet but we do other things. We are normally asking for consent before we do most thing beyond kissing and fondling and have kind of established that it’s OK to touch and feel each other without asking for the most part. But I’m still paranoid. So like I don’t know know what she’s OK with me doing without asking. Like I’m not just going to randomly stick my hand down her pants but like we’re both getting intimate and escalating. I don’t know what I can do without asking. I feel like there’s so many individual scenarios that could come up that I don’t know how to set up boundaries for what is OK not OK without asking. I’ve had a brief discussion with her about where I can touch without asking, but we hadn’t gotten too much detail.
Did any of you have this conversation about what is OK and not OK to do . Or like when consent is implied? Or did you just assume the other person would stop you if they were uncomfortable and let you know? Did you have a conversation where you said this is OK to do without asking? Also, I feel like there’s some things that could be implied consent after things have escalated. It’s just my OCD brain is having a hard time figuring out how to navigate this and have a conversation because I’m very paranoid about them being uncomfortable. I’m already worried that in the past maybe I did something without asking. Not that I would do anything if I didn’t think she was into it, but what if she didn’t say I could do that without asking?
Did you ever do things with asking, when you hadn’t established that is was okay to do said thing without asking?