Not sure if this is a relationship problem or friendship problem but I guess that's the problem.
After graduating high school I got increasingly close with a friend of mine.
Then we got incredibly drunk and kissed, even under the understanding that I was pretty much a gay man. Nothing could've felt more out of the blue to me, we agreed it was just weird and dumb and drunk. I was very shaken and didn't drink for a while.
Then I did and we had sex. In the months since then we've made out a handful more times, punctuated by troubled conversations on my part about how symmetrical this relationship is.
On the surface we've agreed on FWB, but I can tell she's romantically attracted to me. My confidence in my own sense of romantic attraction has tailspun since I kissed a woman. Our closest friends don't know, she likes the secrecy but I hate it. I think we've both been irresponsible to take this as far as we have on such uncertain terms.
My life is more fulfilling than its ever been in almost all respects, but when I think about my sex/love life I feel pretty out of sorts.
Thank you for reading. I can't expect anyone to be in a better position of judgement than me, but I'd appreciate any words :^)