I'm 41m, talking to a37f I matched with on bumble 1 month ago. We had good convo(both into being active, her Rock climbing me lifting). She climbs a lot and it's fairly evident this is more a priority for her than dating (i think she even said that). Regardless we have gone on 2 dates, both hikes. I made a point to kiss her the first date and it was awkward, 2nd date we kissed more and there much more chemistry (from my perspective). She didn't pull away or anything. I asked for both kisses on the 2nd date which probably helped.

At the end of the 2nd date (Saturday) after kissing I asked if she wanted to go back to one of our places. She declined (had to get up early for climbing, but I feel like it was a convenient excuse). Texting later she said she still feels like she doesn't know me and likes to take things more slowly. She's also said a few times not knowing if we are compatible. I initially told her I used to climb a little but definitely not on her level which she said was not an issue.

She's told me a few times about a 2 week climbing trip she's taking(which she leaves for in 2 days) where she will have very limited cell service, and mentioned it's OK if I start seeing someone else during that time. I told her I don't expect to and that I'm not seeing anyone else currently and that I like her. She said she's open to a3rd date to "see how we feel." I don't know if she's dating other ppl but we are both still on bumble(I dunno if she's active on it)

I told her I wanted to see her again this week before she left and she said "probably not unless something happens"

Should I hold out hope that when she gets back she will want to continue seeing me? I feel like she's not very invested(she joked she's not due to her climbing) but I also do tend to get overly invested quickly.

We've been texting mostly daily with some calls, I do most if not all the initiating


3 comments
  1. I think you’re moving too fast physically for her, it sounds like she wants to get to know you better 

  2. Doesn’t sound like she’s very interested. If she was she’d initiate more conversations and would make the time to see you before she left in some way or another. Even if it’s a video chat.

    Don’t put your eggs all in one basket and get hurt. Keep swiping.

  3. >She’s told me a few times about a 2 week climbing trip she’s taking(which she leaves for in 2 days) where she will have very limited cell service, and mentioned it’s OK if I start seeing someone else during that time. 

    >Don’t know where I stand after a month

    Well, I’d say this offers a VERY, VERY STRONG CLUE about “where you stand.”

    I’m 50-50 on whether she is indeed taking a trip, or just doesn’t want to talk to you; that one can go either way.

    BUT giving you the green light to start dating other people… opening that door tells me that any hope of you dating her exclusively is off the table, and she is OK with you drifting off with (or without) someone else.

    Flipping it the other way: this is NOT how someone who is “interested” would act.

    >Should I hold out hope that when she gets back she will want to continue seeing me? 

    I have a feeling pigs will fly, and Hell freeze over, before this happens.

    > I feel like she’s not very invested

    Ya think?

    >We’ve been texting mostly daily with some calls, I do most if not all the initiating

    For some reason, this does not come as a surprise.

    She really wishes you would just bug off.

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