I just want to vent because it took me 3 months to realise this.
I seriously thought he was being real and that his feelings were true but after him leaving me on read on the last message I sent him (we hadn’t texted in a 3 month period) I started to recap his actions, his words, everything. Another guy told me he had manipulated a girl into sleeping with him once and that’s when I came to the realisation that guys do this.
Call me naive or whatever but I never thought someone would go to that extent just for sex. They don’t even realise the unmeasurable damage they can make to the other person. One thing is if you two agree to have sex with no strings attached and another is to go out of your way make that person feel unique and important so they let their guard down and you can satisfy your needs.
I feel not good enough, stupid, gullible and unworthy. I’ve never gone out of my way to use a person for my personal gain. I’m not like that. I’m pretty reserved, quiet and don’t open up easily. I have low self-esteem so being told I was smart but at the same time attractive, did boost my confidence. Having someone that looked like they willingly wanted to converse with me did boost my confidence. And having all that shattered and realising it was all in my head… it hurts deeply. I don’t know if I’ll be able to trust another guy that easily or if I’ll open up.
Please be careful who you decide to play with. People are humans with emotions and you don’t know how much damage you can make to them.
6 comments
i’m really sorry this happened to you. have you thought about talking about this to someone? maybe a professional?
i’ve been in the same situation and i know how stupid it makes you feel. you’re not stupid. people can be really evil sometimes and this could happen to anyone.
This happens to both males and females all the time. Confusion/Communication, dependent on what was discussed in those 3 months and whatever it was that you thought you both had together.
Was is just random, meaningless sex? Did you enjoy it?
If yes, then just say “okay, it was what it was and I’ll move on now”. If you keep thinking about how you were “exploited” and victimizing yourself then over time it can develop into an actual trauma. This will make your future much more difficult.
It’s better to say “it was nothing, it meant nothing.”
I’m sorry to hear that. Some guys, like myself, always asks if you are comfortable with anything like that. Consent is key
Care to share the actual story of what happened?
I’m so sorry this happened to you. It sucks that this happens so often. This is exactly what manipulative people do, they will make u feel like it’s your fault and make u feel stupid. It’s a power trip. It’s not your fault that they lied to you, don’t put their bullshit actions on yourself. If this had happened to a friend, would you blame your friend and think less of them, or would u blame the manipulator?
It’s going to be ok, learn what u can from this. Listen to yourself and your instincts, you will find your way to heal✌🏽