My wife (F38) and I (40M), married almost 6 years, have been in couples therapy since January and last Thursday she said she no longer wants to be married and wants to divorce. I've been working really hard on myself the whole time but it wasn't enough, it felt like i was working with a brick wall the whole time. She disclosed in that last session she considered us separated since before therapy started, was mourning our relationship the whole therapy time, yet was also giving it her all to repair our relationship. I still can't wrap my head around this.
Apparently she had started planning my 40th party some time ago, but between then and last thrusday decided she had enough of us. We have 2 kids under 4, house, and dog. I've been taking it pretty hard given the revelations in our last session.
She gave me a logo shirt for my only gift today, and said "it'll be fun, you know I (my wife) love photo opportunities", implying there's pleasure to be had documenting the time our family split apart. I told it would be too difficult and she said "no it won't, it'll be fun. Oh, you meant difficult on you."
I want to call off any gathering as I feel I either have to hide what's happening or risk bawling to everyone and "ruining" the party. Any advice?