sorry for grammar mistakes😔
basically what the title says but me(22f) and my girlfriend(21f) have been together for 10 months and were friends before that for over a year. she has lots of friends but one of them is who i'll call ray(20f) is kinda toxic. ray and i have also been friends for the past year as she is both friend and classmates with my gf.
ray has a toxic relationship with her boyfriend rn and her previous bf of 3 years cheated on her so i don't like her advices on relationships as i found her manipulative due to her relationships. also it's not the first time she reflected her relationship problems to ours such as making my gf jelaous of a boy her bf is jelaous (the boy was just being kind by offerring me a deal for going to library in turns and have a seat for other which would let us to have some sleep in other persons turn and have a seat at the library to study. note that the boy was a classmate of my gf and that's how we have met but we were the only nerds who go to library in mornings so that's how deal was made.) at that time, i warned my gf about trusting me more and not arguing with me for other people's problems.
few months after that we argued about the boundry problems of my gf. a mutual friend of ours has talked about my past ons in a gathering, making fun of some details i told them(i don't mind talking about it as they were funny, i was with my friends, and i was single at that time but this was different.) i wasn't there, i was visifing my parents at my hometown. there were other people i didn't know and i didn't want them to know my ons stories and also my gf was there. we argued about it as she told me she was angry i didn't tell her that our mutual friend was considering to talk to my ons but i told her that it's none of my business, i don't care about him(ons) and how could she let people talk like that about me when she was there. this argument is also important as i warned my gf about boundaries and how i'm uncomfortable with her letting other people into our relationship.
in july, i went to a concert with few friends and their friends. there was a boy i'll call emil. i thought emil was hitting on me at the beginning, but i talked about my gf during a convo and let him know i have a partner so i thought that would be enough. after that i considered his behaviours as overfriendly as he was a social butterfly. i even texted my gf with a pic of us as "look at my new bro" well, he was still hitting on me. at the end of the night, he requested my phone and followed himself from me and i felt really bad as i felt i was leading him on.(my friends assured me that i wasn't as i didn't shut up talking about mt gf)
i decided to talk my gf when i went home but she was sleeping and i told her at the morning. we argued. she was angry at him and kinda at me as i'm generally misunderstood as flirting and know that but didn't act according to it. i apologized and we made up. next day she was meeting with ray and suddenly she was cold. i was like???? did i do smth again😭😭 no. she told ray what happened and ray was angry at me for not having boundaries. we made up again but i warned her that i don't want our problems to come back after being solved.
few weeks after that, we were gonna celebrate our mutual friend's bd and emil was gonna be there too. my gf was nervous all the time to the point i offered not going(she was also coming) she promised she won't argue as i hate arguements in happy events especially if it's for other people. i promised and tried to engage with emil as less as possible. never spoke to him one on one apart from he was my teammate during beer pong which was due to my teammate leaving for a phone call. i tried my best to avoid a fight but i couldn't.
long story short, emil was rude and inappropriate to my gf(called her insecure, asked if her parents are divorced and that's why she has trust issues, told mutual friend to invite ONLY me to his house after party) and they argued. i shaked my head on emil and asked my gf to stop which she didn't reply. then asked both of them to stop arguing as it's a birthday of x and they are ruining it ehich both of them replied with "we are not arguing" and i just said ok and left the table to pay for my part of the bill.
after that we had a big arguement with my girlfriend and she said how i can leave her while i said how can she argue after promising me not. i told her that i think emil was wrong, but she was also wrong for me as she didn't keep her promise. we couldn't fully make up that night.
next day she went out with her friends and we had our biggest fight. she came home, she is cold as ice, not texting me, not talking properly. she told me some unacceptable things and i told her if she says another word like that again, i'm not tolerating. ("my friends said that maybe you liked him" "why did you shake your head, do you have a secret yo keep with him?" "who knows what would happen if i wasn't there.") mind that i've never cheated in any of my relationships or even in situationships while she did.
i asked who told her that but she refused to answer and told me she doesn't want to tell only stating "one of them is from my hometown, and we see the other" type of shit ehich was mşsunderstood by me due to our language, i thought both of them were from her hometown. we hardly made up after those words as i hate cheating and i couldn't accept being accused of it when i didn't do anything to lead emil on.
last week, we went to camping with my friends for my gf's bd. i wasn't available at all as my minor cousins(17) were visiting me but i went there for my gf. i was always on the phone with them as they were from my hometown and never been in my house before. we were always texting and they called me in every 3-4 hours to ask questions. that was when ray incited my gf about why i was always on my phone on ber bd which my gf (finally!!!) defended me.
i left early next morning but they stayed until night and my gf had a big fight with ray about ray's behaviours in their friendship. when she came home, she was so angry that she accidentally said ray was fhe one told her that i may be cheating, my behaviours were similar to her ex ehike he was cheating, why am i still following emil (i didn't even know i was still following as i'm not an active user on ig, everyone knows as i reply messages days later)
at that point i was done with this emil bullshit that has been going on for a month and i screamed at her. i told her "i'll do what you want me to do for you to close this matter. what do you want? i explained my side, i apologized, i don't talk to him, i'll never see him, i don't know what else to do? what will make you think that i am not cheating? i don't fucking care about your family and your reasoning about you being skeptical. if you are so skeptical, then have friends that doesn't feed your fucking delusions and wouldn't let you argue with your gf over nothing." i know i was rude but that was our topic for a month, even after we solved she was being sarcastic about it.
i also told her that i'm done with her letting 3rd party into our relationship, she either fixes herself or i'm out. i'm not the one who told her lies, i'm not the one that cheated ray and i won't be the one paying for other people's mistakes. i was also angry at her for letting me hang out with ray after she badmouthed me and only told me when they argued.
i told her that from now on, i'm never hanging out with ray apart from events such as bd of a mutual friend. she can hang out all she wants but meeting with ray only for a coffee and catch up is no longer ok for me.
at the beginning, she accepted all of them saying sorry(probably because she tought i was gonna break up) but now she is guikt tripping me about how ray didn't mean it, how she deserves a chance to explain herself, how she has a trauma and couldn't think straight for a moment. i told her to leave me alone and maybe later but definitely not now but she didn't. she now talks about how ray asked about me, if i'm okay, do i need anything.
what do i do?
TL;DR, my gf's best friend always creates problems in our relationship and told her that i may be cheating but i wasn't and now my gf is guilt tripping me for going lc with her friend.