why did my stamina go down

so i’m not the best in bed as a man but my stamina is very random sometimes. it could be bc i’ve only been with the girls i’ve been with 1-2 times each but ive had sex with girls that i found very attractive and was easily able to just start with no problem of feeling like i was about to finish until i was ready. i’ve been with average women i didn’t see the most attraction in and not been able to control myself after a few minutes. is there a good method to managing your stamina to please the other or what. i find sometimes when i start touching myself i feel arroused fast and then others it’s like i just want to please and im animalistic lmao. i’ve found that if i get somewhat close to that climax and then stop and move positions some i can start going at my own pace and finish when ready. is it just a mental/physical game i need to talk to myself about while in the moment