Hi everyone,
I’m 21 years old, and I come from a traditional background, so intimacy has always been something that felt a little out of reach for me. The thing is, I’ve only ever kissed one person (last year), and even that was just a few pecks. I know this sounds kind of silly, but I really don’t know how to be comfortable with intimacy or how to even kiss properly. I’ve never done anything sexual either.
I’ve gone on plenty of first dates, and guys often ask me out or flirt with me. It’s not that I’m insecure about my looks—I feel pretty confident and have a fun, vibrant personality. I’m great at flirting, but the moment things start getting physical, I shut down and pull back. It’s like I’m so embarrassed by my lack of experience that I panic and can’t let myself get closer.
I don’t want these guys to figure out how insecure I am about this part of my life. Now that I’m post-grad and trying to explore more, I feel like I need to challenge myself to get past this mental block. But I can’t help worrying about what happens when the moment comes—what if I’m bad at it? These guys I’m attracted to are usually more experienced, and I don’t want to feel out of my depth.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? How can I start feeling more comfortable with intimacy and move past this fear of being “behind”? Any advice or personal stories would really help.
I feel like my youth is slipping behind.
Thanks in advance!