I'm a man and my entire life, I've always had an easier time being friends with women than other men.
I've become more aware of this in recent years. As I've continued to focus and work on my social skills (thanks in part to this sub!), I have noticed an improvement communicating with women but it doesn't seem to be as effective with most other men.
At work, this is the first year in which my manager and almost my entire team are all men, and this is the most disconnected I've felt in terms of my teams and direct colleagues at work. It doesn't help that they are all dads and into sports. I don't have any kids and don't really follow sports, which means I can't partake in a lot of water cooler talk. Just recently, I was at a group dinner where it was 2 women at the table and 2 guys plus me. The women were more engaged in conversation with me and would laugh at my jokes whereas the other 2 guys not as much.
From thinking about it, I think there are some common themes: Many dudes don't seem to have good conversational skills – not judging here, mine are also a work in progress. When I try to initiate a conversation with them I frequently get one word responses and no follow-up questions and/or they tend to ramble and monopolize the conversation to the point where I completely lose the thread and become disengaged myself. I feel like I'm talking to someone who just wants to listen to himself talk, which is not conducive to a good conversation.
That having been said, I see the guys on my team connecting with each other without much issue. Which makes me wonder if I'm the one who's missing something. I can't quite put my finger on what the reason for that is, but I think I may have missed a lesson or two on Bro Code back in school. On days when I want to make myself feel better about it, I just assume that they are jealous because I'm 6'2" tall and that just intimidates them 😂
Just curious if other guys have encountered this and resources/tips for working around it. I'm okay if I go the rest of my life being better friends with women and holding on to my small circle of male friends. But maybe I'm missing something simple here that I can focus and work on. Particularly when it comes to breaking the ice and trying to make more guy friends.