My wife and I have been together for over fifteen years. We have three children together. The last couple of years have been rocky due to some financial difficulties. We had some unexpected emergencies and our savings went down the toilet and we had to relocate. On a positive note, she found a career that was her dream growing up. I took a step back to finish some classes and get a teaching certification. Our lives were flipped upside down and I understand that comes with a lot of anxiety.
Long story short, we haven’t had much time together in the past year. We both have become distant and she keeps belittling and blaming me for our financial problems. I left my previous job so she could take this opportunity. I was in the military prior to that career and I thought it was only fair since she sacrificed so much time moving during my active duty.
She has been at this job for about eight months now. She loves it, but ends up taking phone calls on her off days and going in unnecessarily on weekends to handle operations issues. Recently, she wanted to go on a trip. I was all for that, but I said it was too expensive. Without even trying to compromise to do something else, she stormed off and later told me “I’ll go by myself. I don’t need you. Not for a second!” She wouldn’t talk to me for a few days.
We finally reconciled and planned a date for the first time in two months. We went to dinner, then saw a movie at a local resort in the area. Dinner was great. Movie was great. Everything was going fantastic and we were having a good time without the kids for the first time in so long.
She asked to go into a club at the resort. We ended up on the dance floor. It wasn’t crowded at all. A “Just the Two of Us” cover starts playing and she starts dancing. I take her by the hips. She laughs at me and says “Why are you dancing with me like that to this song?” Whatever. I tried to dance with her a second time. We start traditional dancing and tries to lead me while saying “one, two together.” I was thrown off and jokingly asked her “hold on, what are we doing?” I didn’t want to look like I don’t know what I’m doing. She took it completely wrong, looks at me with a straight face and tells me I’m boring. She stormed off, leaves the club and goes into a shop. I tried to stop her but she wouldn’t listen. I finally find her and she tells me “I should’ve known this was just a band aid. You pushed me away like you were embarrassed of me. There’s plenty of guys in there that would love to dance with me.” I was baffled. We walked to the car in silence and argued on the way home that ended in both of us saying it’s over.
In retrospect, I keep thinking of how she only wanted to take pictures of herself and kept asking if she looked hot. Not sure why, but it keeps lingering in my head.
I’m devastated. I honestly don’t know how to come back from this. A wonderful night turned into a disaster in five seconds. I love this woman and she’s the mother of my children, but I’m at a loss for what to do next. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.