My best friend of 15 years and I have drifted apart over the past 2 years since she moved 3 hours away. We used to be inseparable, and my family treated her like their own. Although we stay in touch and meet every month or two, her constant digs have become overwhelming and unbearable. (I live in London and she lives in the countryside)
In our mid/late 20s, she has become spiteful. Despite her earning a more money than me, which I’ve never cared about since I’m not incredibly money driven, she belittles my achievements. When I landed a marketing manager job after 8+ years of experience, she asked if it was an internship. She makes mean comments about my possessions and life, like pointing out that I have the "cheapest watch model" or "You only own that handbag because it was cheap 7 years ago" (referencing a Chanel bag)… I do not even speak to her nor bring up the things I own, I do not even think about it?
She’s obsessed with Instagram and only posts from fancy places. When she visits, she insists on going to expensive spots for social media and makes digs about my relationship, belongings, and job. I feel used; she seems to visit only to go out in London or because she’s lost her other friends. During a recent Christmas visit, she used my house as a hotel, making me wait around and prepare her for a meal I wasn’t invited to. Doing her hair, her makeup and listening to her complain about how I was doing it. Despite always including her in my plans and making her feel welcome, I feel she takes advantage of my hospitality.
For her birthday last weekend, she chose an expensive restaurant with a $150 minimum spend per person. I had to leave by 11:20 PM for work the next day, but the restaurant turned into a party and stayed open until 3 AM. She invited 5 girls who are not genuine friends but just enjoy fancy places (they all back stab eachother). I met my best friend 20 minutes before we were supposed to leave and spent over an hour taking photos of her, making us late. We arrived at 10 PM, and since I’m not close with the other girls, I ended up taking all the group photos without being asked to be in any. I feel it’s unfair because I made an effort to attend, paid the minimum spend (considering I was there for 1hr20), and ended up being the photographer for the night.
She constantly asks to meet up and stay with me, and I’ve used every excuse to avoid it. She can be an incredibly mean and confrontational person to other people. I hate confrontation and am currently struggling with my mental health, so I prefer to quietly distance myself and let things fizzle out. However, she doesn’t seem to get the hint and continues to message me about making plans. I would prefer to be alone than be with her – Is it time to end this friendship? If so, how do I do it without causing more drama?