I only occasionally go to to nightclubs and bars And whatever places you meet people and I have never approached a girl for any reason besides wingmaning a friend. I honestly don’t have any confidence in myself to go to talk to a girl because I feel like I know what the response will be anyway so I decide that it’s not worth it. But because of this I am still a virgin and obviously no 25 year old male wants to be a virgin but it is what it is? Does anyone have any tips on how to become more confident in my self so I can meet women?
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Well what is it about yourself that makes you lack confidence. Is there something you think you lack?
So first advice would be: Get rid of the “it’s not worth” mentality. Never taking a chance is always a no result strategy. You can only connect to a girl if you talk to one, even if it takes a hundred approaches. From what I see, a lot of confident guys are turned down a lot too.
Second: When talking about talking to girls you don’t know, most guys are not confident. They are scared shitless. That’s why nightclubs with alcohol and dancing are such a rabid concept. They create an environment for more bravery and a common language of humans: music and dance.
Third (but toughest): Most girls just want to have a good time. They go out to have fun. So you need to be a guy with whom one can have a good time. This is the tough part because you need to be confident in who you are. It’s not a question of being weird, hot, geeky, or so. It’s about if you are accepting who you are and open up to others to share.
Good luck out there!
I know this is a weird comment but if you want to call me we could practice or something im 23 year old female and quite skilled in the dating game
I am 29, and did not do that, and do not plan to until I feel comfortable.
Honestly I find nightclubs and noisy bars some of the hardest places to talk to girls
I think you should try internet dating. I did and now im in a long term relationship and it’s not the first. It’s a lot easier because you’re both probably there for relationships so you can be a lot more forthcoming. And even if you don’t manage to lose your virginity, you might still gain some confidence and learn a bit about women. I have aspergers and depression. I’m a pretty weird guy. Still, I managed to find someone. I think if I can do it, you can too. I believe in you.
Buy them drinks and they will talk to you
You’re making a couple of mistakes. First of all, you’re only 25. It’s not that old to start hitting on girls. Don’t make 25 bigger than it is. Secondly, you don’t know what the response will be. This seems to be your fear of failure so that you won’t need to expose yourself to a possible rejection. Realise this. Rejection is likely to occur a few times, but eventually you have be successful. That can, however, only happen if you take action. If you start hitting on girls you’ll be surprised eventually that a girl or multiple are actually interested.
Being a virgin at 25 is not so bad. Don’t make this a bigger deal than it is. It is very easy to lose it. Don’t attach so much value to it. If you start hitting on girls (or better said: approaching girls. Hitting on girls sounds a bit bad imo) you will eventually lose your virginity. But not doing anything and thinking all hope is lost is a garuantee that you will remain virgin and without any experience.
The choice is yours.
You can do it!
You’re young, so you can still turn it around.
I’d advice you to learn some basic game before you start approaching girls, so you won’t come off as a creep, but basically you just gotta be confident.
If you approach a stranger, think of how you would approach someone you’re already friends with.
If you expect a positive reaction, you probably will get one.
The most important thing about the first 30 seconds is to have eye contact, smile and point something unusual out about her that gets her to talk.
You also need to show interest, but not in a needy way.
You basically gotta say something like “Hey, I think you’re quite cute and you just got me curious”
You also want to convey your personality, don’t ask too many questions, try to put as much as you can as a statement where you can express your opinion.
Don’t be afraid to disagree or point something out that you find unusual about her.
And most importantly, take rejections lightly.
It’s not you that she rejects, but the impression you made of yourself within the first few seconds or minutes.
The thing is, you don’t know what the response is. Just try, be yourself and go for it. And what is the worse that can happen? As long as you are respectful, the worse that could happen is she might say no, perhaps rudely, but so what? Once you get to the point where a “no” means nothing to you, you can talk to anyone. But it takes practice. Every single person deals with some kind of rejection in their life. The ones who tend to be most successful keep at it.
You can become more confident, it only depends on why you’re unconfident in the first place, is it cause your socially anxious, extremely introverted, grew up homeschooled or is it cause you’re physically not attractive? If it’s everything but the latter then you can most definitely become more confident, it’s just trial and error, or more accurately, trial and success leading to confidence.