Hey everyone, this is a bit of a weird topic about a guy I’ve just started dating regarding his s*x fetish and I would like some advice as I (23F) am only in my early twenties and have never dealt with this before. I cannot talk to my friends or family about this as I am embarrassed.
So a few weeks ago I officially entered a relationship with a guy (28M) that I recently met a few months ago and started casually dating. He is only a few years older than me, very kind, attractive and met the criteria of the man I been looking for. He treats me well overall and I really do like him.
Well the other day when we were having intercourse, he admitted to me that this is his deep secret… He is into piss and scat (poop) fetish and would want me to pee, poop on him and in his mouth one day because it’s natural and sexy. I was definitely taken back by him telling that to me and just nervously laughed it off as we were having s*x but I’ve been thinking about this for days.
If you were in my shoes how would you go about this situation? I really do like him but I didn’t even know there are men seriously into this type of thing and I would definitely NOT be open to do any of that with him.
Should I just break things off and move on for my wellbeing?
36 comments
It’s best to move on. You shouldn’t feel pressured into doing something that repulses you, and he will be disappointed that his sexual needs are not fulfilled.
I thought this would just be a choking fetish or something. Yeah, if you aren’t into that, you’ll never be. Just don’t. Leave.
What in the diddy?
Don’t do anything you don’t want to
If he’s just a normal guy he will just accept a no… if he brings it up another time, you need to leave
I don’t want to eat dinner anymore
If you are not willing to even think about doing it then do not.
It’s okay to be into something, and it’s okay to not be into the same things as your partner. You need to express this with your partner and work to find things that work for you both. Establishing hard and soft boundaries where appropriate are key
I’d piss on someone in the shower but I’d draw the line at poop. No watersports outside the shower, though.
It doesn’t sound like you two are compatible. If he absolutely has to play that fetish out in real life, then you should break up.
I would break up with him. Sexual incompatibility is relationship incompatibility if you plan to keep having sex with him.
That’s a rare one. I personally as a man am repulsed by that, especially the scat. I would bail.
I don’t think the biggest red flag is the kink itself, but the fact that he brought it up during sex.
I’m surprised by the number of people telling you to leave, but I suppose a lot of them are going by their disgust reaction. All you need to do is establish that this is an extremely hard limit for you, that you will never do it & whether he would be happy in a relationship without that. If he’s a decent guy, he will accept that & not try to push it on you in the future. *If* he still brings it up, even after you’ve repeatedly said *no*, then I’d say that’s the time to leave.
Tell him that you don’t see a world in which you could participate in that, so if it is a deal breaker, he should know. You may not be the sexual partner he wants.
People have all kinds of fetishes – poop is an extreme one for nearly everyone. Him saying it is natural is a weird gaslight. It is not naturally a part of sex. Hopefully, he is trying to minimize it because of his embarrassment, not trying to pressure you.
If you really like him and he is flexible about having this fetish fully acted on, you can always try some dirty talk involving his kink or do only pee play in the shower as a treat, but for a lot of people that would be hard to do and stay in the mood. You know your own boundaries, but there is a spectrum of ways this kind of kink can be explored.
This kink doesn’t hurt anyone, and he is letting you know honestly, so it could be worse.
Just move on, my god
as someone with a piss kink (with some exceptions tho), he should respect your boundaries of not wanting to do those kinks and you not having those kinks at all. if it’s a dealbreaker for him, then that’s his problem
If you really like him, I would suggest having a conversation with him about the things you do and don’t like, as well as what you would be interested in trying v. not even up for debate. Make reference to his fetish, and let him know that’s not something you’re interested in for xyz reason. After telling him you’ll never be interested in it and why, you can clarify with him whether that’s something he absolutely must have in a relationship, or is it just something he’d like/appreciate.
I see other commenters suggesting he’ll never be sexually satisfied with you but I think that’s likely a reach. Lots of people have fetishes that their partners don’t give in to, or give in to every time they’re intimate, but it doesn’t mean they don’t still feel sexually satisfied or fulfilled without it. Just be open and honest and you’ll be able to feel it out!
Yeah if you are not into you move on .. are you able to talk to him and fuck him ,after knowing that . That’d answer your question
I think you’ll have to discuss your boundaries and explain how that’s something you’ll never find attractive. However if he brings it up again break it up.
Also, another thing that’s worth bearing in mind is that a lot of guys into this kind of thing have never actually done it (because, obviously, it’s such a rare kink to actually find a “compatible” partner for) that it’s very possible that he may not even like it if he tried it: the reality may not live up to the fantasy, so it’s worth trying this type of reasoning to justify that he doesn’t *need* it.
BREAK UP NOW, sorry I shouldn’t yell, the fact you posted here means a lot
Your poopy bf needs to find the girl from that one dude’s post where she wants to peg him or she’ll dump him and those two need to date.
Then maybe you and the guy who refuses to get pegged can go on a date and have normal kink sex stuff like ankles behind the head, furry stuff or granny role play (I’m just brainstorming here) like decent members of society.
Yes break things off. I dated a guy once who was hiding the fact that he was an ABDL. There’s no point in trying to make a relationship work when there’s a kink that extreme involved that you aren’t also interested in.
I was ready to type out a list of things you can do to learn about different types of fetishes and stuff and maybe get comfortable with.
But yeah, piss and scat are a hard “no” from me, personally.
Maybe before breaking things off, ask him if that’s something he can live without in his relationship…? And if he says ‘yes’, ask him again if he’s being honest with himself.
the fact that he tried to justify it cuz it’s natural.. i mean i get it but… also our body naturally rejects these things that’s why they’re excrements
I feel like 95% of the answer to the questions asked on here is an easy “what are you doing sticking around?? Leave!” This is a no brainer…he’s into poop and pee and you’re not and you have just met so god only knows what kind of other shit he’s into…Leave.
He should be into another gf that has that same fetish vs a regular gf.
Oh nah that ain’t it 😂
Not trying to Kink Shame anyone but that sounds disgusting
You know my best friend had a moment like this in the past. For him it was a casual fling and he arrived at her home, things got hot and heavy.
As they were getting ready to do the deed, she lay down, and proceeded to ask him to drop number 2’s on her chest.
He told me that he didn’t even put his pants on, just walked out of her house pants and shoes on hand and drove away.
Short story short, you shouldn’t do something you are not comfortable with. Just tell him it’s not your jam, like a lactose person in an ice cream store.
You would kiss his mouth after knowing this info?
Not a ton of kinks that would make me want to date someone less, but this happens to be one of them. If it’s something you could bring yourself to do, maybe there’s room to work with. Honestky, he’s probably very into it, and if you don’t, he’ll be very disappointed. Not saying brake up with him but definitely make it clear what your boundaries are. Seen a fair few people get pushed around in relationships by older partners. Don’t let anyone tell you what you should or shouldn’t be into.
Imagine trying to kiss somebody on the mouth knowing that you pooped in there, like, a couple hours ago.
I would move on, scat play is definitely on my “Hell no” list.
When dealing with kinks I apply this:
Hell yes: Things I Like and must have
Yes: Things I like but can live without
Meh: things I don’t care about, don’t like them but also don’t dislike them
No: Things I don’t like but can compromise once every time
Hell no: things I would never do
If pooping is on his hell yeah and in your hell no, then theres no way you can compromise, no matter the outcome both are going to be unhappy about it. If something is in your meh and in his Hell yes there’s more room to adjust.
So, I think you need to end things cause hes gonna always want to have that involved and you don’t.
The scat fetish is another level of wtf.
I could not…
> I would definitely NOT be open to do any of that with him.
Well, sex incompatibility is a thing.
Time to break it up, but be nice about it: acknowledge that you really like him, but that his fetish isn’t YOUR fetish and it makes you uncomfortable–but you don’t want to lock him down or force him to be locked down with someone who DOESN’T like it, and he should be free to find someone who WILL perform this fetish with him. You’ll keep his secret, and won’t mention it to anyone (I mean, except it’s technically too late since now all of Reddit knows), and you wish him the best of luck in finding his future Miss Perfect.