My default setting is vanilla. However, my girlfriend says she wants to be dominated in bed, so yeah, we’re going to put on a new personality and try something refreshing. Wanna hear your thoughts on what women expect when they say that they want to be dominated.
P.S: we’re not ready for intercourse, that’s established. So share how you’d like to be dominated, intercourse and otherwise.
36 comments
Take the lead, throw her around, get nasty and make her feel your pleasure is the priority, but dont cause any pain unless she asks.
I want to kneel, wear a collar and a leash and be lead around. Be trained, told what to do, disciplined when I get it wrong. I want to be told what to wear, how to stand, what position to be in. I want to be hit hard so it leaves bruises which I can show you the next day. I want praise throughout all of it when I do things right.
And when that’s all done, I want to be taken care of and told I’m a Good Girl.
What she means is that you have to be proactive and initiate sex poses with great passion; she enjoys the whole thing with comfort
You really should ask her what she wants exactly.
You need to show her that youre capable of hurting her and taking what you want by demonstrating how much bigger and stronger you are
You will demand things and they better be met… or else
Else being that you will tie her up, use her, degrade her
But there is the added twist that you need to read her mind to know the exact boundaries she is happy with
Throw her around. Put her on her knees. Slap her a little. Be rough. Anything further than that kind of depends on the woman
Safe word
Different things to different women. Talk to her.
Just in bed that too with riders
It reaaaally depends on each woman.
For some dominated is just you leading sex. For others it can be the whole domination kink experience. And then the grays in between.
The boundaries of what your partner and you are comfortable with need to be defined before you do anything.
Ask her what she wants.
Be straightforward.
Make sure it won’t make you uncomfortable. That is vital.
If you are doing something she likes (sex wise), and if it makes you uncomfortable, communicate that.
Most likely, she wants you to take the lead in intercourse situations.
It probably includes some level of you being in control.
I can’t tell you if she wants BDSM activities with the information you have given. Comments that imply her asking to be ‘dominated’ requires some level of BDSM assumes too much with too little information.
What she asked could mean so many different things.
Last of all, have fun exploring! Sounds like you guys are close to starting up sexual stuff (soonish.)
Ask your gf what she wants specifically
Does she want to be choked? Spanked/slapped? Called demeaning words? For you to go rough? Tossed around the room?
Everyone’s different, just ask and see and have fun
Before getting into anything like this, consent (on both parts) is really important. We can’t tell you what she means and there are different levels. Some people are into simply being told what to do, some people want to wear collars, some people want to be cuffed/restrained, some people like to be choked, smacked, spanked. Some people don’t like some or all of this. You need to talk to her and discuss what feels safe or not.
Ask her what she wants. And be sure to know if you can handle it too, don’t be afraid to say no. It’s better to know what she wants rather than having weird expectation that you won’t even be fine with.
Like for example, if I get asked to use her as a toy, pin her down and to make her do whatever I want then I could be assertive and work it out and I’m fine with it as long as she seems like enjoying it. However if she ask me to choke/hit that’s a no. My limit is at using my strength to hurt her or fake non-consent/similar rp in general.
Ask her.
But generally it involves giving commands and deciding what you’re going to do within your established boundaries.
Please ask this on a proper subreddit for this subject
You have to ask them for specifics, but the general idea is something akin to the idea of BDSM in the mind of a layman, if not actual BDSM.
>Wanna hear your thoughts on what women expect when they say that they want to be dominated.
If she expects you to be a mind-reader rather than communicate with you in advance about what she wants and is interested in, that’s a very, very bad sign.
It means they want to let go of all cares and worries and be lead – you to be in control of her and what goes on during and after sex (Aftercare) to put it simply and specifically about bedroom stuff since that is only what you mentioned.
It’s good that you’re here looking for general knowledge on what a variety of women want when it comes to being dominated in bed.
However, the absolute best answer you’re gonna get is from your girlfriend.
Ask her how *she* wants to be dominated in bed.
Talk.
Ask questions.
Discuss limits – hard and soft (read: what she’s okay with, willing to try and absolutely not okay with).
Agree on a non-sexual based safe word. If she says the safe word. Stop. Do not pass Go to collect $200. Full on stop everything. Even if it was a slip of the tongue. Yes, it will most likely take you out of the moment. But, it’s gonna show that you care for her safety and well-being.
Do your research – *both of you*! On fetish/kinky sexual acts/positions/etc.
Read up – and I cannot stress this enough – on *After care*. After care is insanely important. One of the most important aspects of Dominance after sex
What does it sound like domination
Uuuuh why are you asking men?
If youre not ready for intercourse like you say youre definitely not ready for ‘domination’ whatever that might entail for her. Go talk to her not us
It could mean she wants you to take charge in the action. It could also mean going as far as BDSM type stuff. You’re gonna have to have her clarify.
Most women I know who are into it like to have their hair pulled, get spanked, get thrown around the bed if possible & usually made to do things like give BJs.
Being 6ft+ it’s relatively easy to be dominant over many women especially if they’re short & a lot of them seem to want it
This is far too vague to be considered consent. You need to ask more questions.
A trip to the naughty store might give you some ideas. Bondage tape is like 3 bucks.
You ever seen a clip of “Hookup Hotshot?”
Probably that.
Why don’t you try idk… to ask her?
this can range from “slap my ass a lil bit” to “choke me till i pass out” to “beat me so bad the cops are gonna show up”
A conversation about limits and desires needs to happen in a non sexual context. The more detailed the better.
If you’re going to be the Dominant you have to take responsibility for her emotional state.
Power flow dynamics during sex should not take the form of an attack. You can “own” her but only because she gives herself to you willingly. Treat this with the highest of respect.
Make “I want” statements to have your desires met.
“I want you to take your dress off”
“I want you to kneel for me”
This is especially fun if she’s agreed to call you by a hierarchical title. Example: “yes sir, thank you sir”.
When she forgets to say thank you or whatever you can “punish” her. I put that in quotations because punishment can come in the form of orgasm denial (temporary obviously, don’t leave her hanging) or various other agreements.
First step is always a high level of communication and an understanding. Angry, selfish or egotistical men make absolutely fucking terrible Doms because they see the relationship as a power exchange (“I’m in charge, you’ll do whatever I say because I said so”). Rather than a flow of energy. She gives herself to you and your needs and you assume responsibility and give back, fulfilling her needs through fulfilling your own.
You should want her to be a puddle on floor by the time your both finished.
Lastly, AFTERCARE. After the session, get her a blanket and wrap her up. Give her cuddles and kisses and make hot chocolate. Ask her how she’s feeling with a big smile on your face. She’s very sensitive in this moment and needs you at your best.
Have fun.
Depends on the woman.
For some it means they want to be choked, spanked, moved with force into new positions etc. For other women it means they’re lazy and passive in bed and they need a man to do all the work.
That’s something which has bothered me a bit in kink terminology: “passive” and “submissive” are two different things and a lot of women say the latter when they mean the former. Being too lazy to give foreplay doesn’t make you a sub, which I think some people need to hear.
Communication and agreement is key. Slowly ramp up and always be very clear with your partner about how far you’re going and how far they’re willing to go. Eventually you’ll find a sweet spot that works for both of you and sex will get better because of it. Good luck friend.
Wanting to be dominated but not ready for intercourse kinda seems backwards ngl.
To each their own.
Buy a gimp mask and leave it on the bed one night. See how she reacts.
Generally, it’s they want to be told what to do and not have to make decisions.
That’s gonna look different for every woman who is into that. So you’re gonna have to ask her yourself
This needs a lot of communication, ask your gf what she likes, ask her to show you movies and books that create an experience she would like to match.
People often misunderstand dominance, it’s about trust and control, not about aggression, fear, pain, humiliation, or mild violence.
A big part of this is that she needs to set the boundaries and you need to operate within them. A lot of people new to this lifestyle don’t realise that. If she just expects you to know her boundaries and her desires, it needs a lot more communication. Talk about it and see what she finds exciting, see what she responds to.
Post the same in ” ask women ” subreddit and then compare both points of view.