As the title says a coworker (f25) to me (m23) just asked me to go on a date with her. I have no interest in her in a romantic way, but I have no clue how I can turn her down without fucking shit up…
She has very clearly had a crush on my for about a half year, and I’ve tried my best to not “answer” on her different ways of approaching me, but this doesn’t seem to have worked very well.
Could I get any advice on this? I feel like a woman turning down a man is usual and people don’t think twice about it, but when a man turns down a woman the man could be interpreted as “evil” (Note that this is just my feeling and could very likely not be true).
7 comments
Just say no if you are not interested, or at least let her know you’re going out as friends. Be clear about not being interested in anything more than that
“I don’t date coworkers.” Repeat as needed.
“I appreciate the compliment, but I’m not interested”
You’re not obliged to date anyone, for any reason.
> when a man turns down a woman the man could be interpreted as “evil”
You’re overthinking it. She *might* be the dramatic type, but most people aren’t fresh out of a Reddit anecdote. Besides, even if she was, it’s not like you’d go out with her to avoid drama.
“Sorry, I’d prefer we stay coworkers.”
Just turn her down politely. “I like you and enjoy working with you, and I’m flattered that you’ve asked me out. But I don’t think I’m interested in you that way. Is it alright if we just remain friends?”
Literally no one is going to think that politely turning her down is evil. That’s paranoia. (In reality, people are way quicker to demonize women for this than they are men. No judgment on you – my bf often has the same weird instincts on this topic – but just look up the statistics. Men are very rarely hurt, killed, or villainized for turning women down, whereas women are much more often physically hurt, and even more often made out to be cold, shallow temptresses/friendzoners who don’t value the guy they turned down as a full person, etc.).
Just say you’re flattered but not interested.
Just say you’re not interested. Dancing around the truth is ten times more insulting and annoying