Hey everyone, crazy thing just happened to me- my husband and I are baffled!
This ex is my high school sweet heart. We dated through grades 10-12 and first year of uni (worst year of my uni cuz of him). He is a super conservative guy of Punjabi Indian heritage, and his family is way worse. While we were dating, we never had sex and every time he even touched me, he went into a crazy rant of how I tempt him and I’m a slut for that. I was in first year college dude, I was horny af. Anyway, he was a shitty bf with a myriad of problems cuz of his conservative uneducated family.
Last night, super late, he messaged me saying “hey hows it going”. We haven’t talked for 4 years! I said I was doing good and that I saw his wedding on insta (his best friend is one of my best friends and we even roomed in uni together). He said “oh yeah marriage is an adjustment” and proceeded to insult his wife. This mamma’s boy sub teacher insulting his cardio thoracic surgeon wife about how she is a type A and how marriage is suppressing his “fun”. His fun is playing video games and not changing his underwear. Oh yeah, this was a fight when we dated. AND HE DUMPED ME.
I knew this would happen. I knew he would not be able to handle a strong successful person as his spouse. He was telling me how he and his wife never had sex in the 10 years they dated and how that messed with him. He said he watched so much porn that he cant even feel arousal for his wife. This made me feel so sad for him, his culture made him suppress his sexuality and the only outlet he had was masturbation.
All I can think about is how I dodged the bullet. Now he wont stop messaging me and keeps talking about our relationship and how he fucked up breaking up with me, being married is not what he thought, and how he wants to sleep away from his wife. They have been married 3 months!
What a crazy world. Anyway, I posted this cuz this is v crazy! What do y’all do in this situation?
20 comments
I don’t engage with shitty ex’s on social media, I usually keep my accounts private and don’t add them as friends.
He needs s*x. Upto you. It will get complicated. Again, it’s upto you both.
This has happened to me a couple of times over the last couple of years, I had a random insanely long message on facebook ( just before I gave up facebook)about a year ago from an ex that I haven’t seen in nearly twenty years, complaining about her husband, I replied relaying my confusion, but she never got back to me, and shed blocked my on Facebook too,people are just weird sometimes, including me.
Why not take screenshots and send them to his wife? I’d let it go of it were just a comment or two but sounds like this guy is way more than that. Think about how grateful you are that you are not with him. Maybe she’d like the same relief.
He made his bed now he has to lay in it
Why are you even entertaining his sexless life stories ? His wife deserves some respect.
Stay away from him in case you want your amazing husband not to feel disappointed in you. No spouse likes their SO interacting with ex behind their backs and discussing sex on the marriage.
This guy is ‘ex for a reason’.
Illiterate Punjabi Sikhs are the worst of the lot when it comes to relationship with a strong independent woman.
You can’t really say you dodge a bullet if you are still actively messaging him lol. Just let it go and respect his marriage even if he doesn’t.
He’s asking you to have an affair with him without outright asking you.
“I do not feel comfortable speaking to you about your marital troubles. You should speak to your wife or seek couples therapy, but I will not be engaging in these kinds of conversations moving forward.”
His issues are not your problem, no matter what your history with him is. You are not his sex therapist and you do not owe him emotional support. Think about how uncomfortable you would be if your husband reached out to an ex and spoke like this, would you tolerate it from him? Then you shouldn’t tolerate that from someone you aren’t even in a relationship with.
Make it clear that this is not something you want to talk about and then stop responding to those messages.
BLOCK HIM
Send screenshots to his wife and then block him forever
He keeps messaging because you keep answering.
Unless you think a guy who thinks fun includes not changing his underwear, wish him a happy life and tell him you are moving on with yours, then block him.
It’s too late to hang up but that’s my input.
See, I’m a special kind of mean. I would find the wife’s cell number and forward all of these texts to her.
My ex husband pulled this crap a few years ago. I told him things like, “Maybe you should be nice to your wife so she doesn’t leave you, too,” and “If she’s gaining weight and you don’t like it, you need to take the initiative and go on long walks, hiking, etc.” (She’s a SAHM who has had four of his children.)
Shut him up pretty quickly. He still tells me happy birthday but last year I told him, “Hey, didn’t I divorce you?” We’ll see if he bothers, this year.
He found me on SM, no way would I be in contact with him voluntarily. Lol
Block him, duh.
Just block him.
Why did you waste your time with this post? The answer here is obvious. Block.
Tell him to grow up! Give him the truth and try to help him accept his wife.
Or…tell him how you really feel about him.
Or completely ignore him.
He hasn’t talked to you in 4 years. This was an attempt at looking for an opportunity for a booty call. If he has problems in his marriage he needs to get couples counseling and work with his wife on the issues (and oh boy, not surprising they have issues since his “power move” is to bitch to an ex-girlfriend about his wife).
Block him. Nothing good can come of further interactions with this numbnut.