I’m known as the shy person. People either think i’m intimidating, crazy or stuck up. And nobody approach’s me first. So I was complaining to my friends about this, and they told me to just start talking to people more.
There’s this girl I wanted to be friends with. Maybe a week ago, I just started saying hey to her and asking her about her classes whenever I saw her. And she responded like anyone would lol. But today I was standing outside by myself. And she was with her group of friends close by me. And she was pointing at me saying “You see her ? She’s weird.” And her friends started laughing. I just acted like I didn’t hear it.
Went home and cried about it. When I don’t speak I’m weird, and when I do speak I’m weird. It’s really made me not want to try to become more social. People just don’t seem to like me.
48 comments
She sounds like a bitchy shit head just keep on being social and finding good friends
It happens: not everyone will like you… Don’t be so serious about the other person’s reaction to you, because you are trying to find someone to talk and maybe be friends, right?
Not everyone want to talk with a random person at the street for a variety of reasons. Eventually, if you continue to try,you’ll find some good friends. You’re doing a fine job 🙂
Try to find a group of people who accept you for who you are, first and foremost. Second, try to ignore the people who don’t and don’t let them get to you.
Once you find your people, or just peace in yourself, you’ll be great. Best of luck on becoming more social
People always try to judge you when you’re stepping out of your comfort zone. It has nothing to do with you, it has to do with them. That person doesn’t think they can change or do the things they want to, so they cut you down for it. Don’t let them stop you, you’re doing great!
None of this is your fault
Don’t give up, honestly experiences like this made me unable to put myself out there and always wished I had not given up just because of a few jerks. I know it hurts when you want someone specific to like you. This person sounds very high school and you are better off without her if she’s acting that way. Good people are out there and you will definitely find them.
Rejection is hard and scary especially in the beginning. You like someone and you want them to like you, so when they don’t, you think there’s something wrong with you. But there is nothing wrong with you, and there’s nothing wrong with them either. Sometimes people like or don’t like different things and neither options are bad.
Keep working on yourself and your social skills. You will attract friends that are good for you. Ignore the ones who don’t want to be your friend, and keep going. It takes lots and lots of practice and don’t let it bring you down when you trip and fall sometimes because that’s all part of the process. It’s normal, and you’re doing just fine.
Dude she caught onto the fact that you’re shy and probably a bit awkward (not hard to do) and chose to make you a joke to get a validation high from her friends. She’s not a happy person.
You don’t need to feel terrible about this. I’ve seen people trying to do this to others my entire life. Someone leaves the room and there’s always that one asshole who immediately starts talking shit to get validation. Some gossip and giggle along and others shut it down. It happens in all circles.
OP this girl is a biiiiiiiitch and you’re better off not socializing with her. From your post, it seems like you’re doing a great job of getting out of your comfort zone and trying to socialize. I beat myself up over failed social interactions quite a bit, but I have to remember to also forgive myself for stumbling when trying to learn to walk (socialize).
nah she probably is a bad person and most likely dont have any real friends if she acts like that
This kind of person does that to everyone. It’s not you. It’s her. Also, if you are feeling brave, you can tell her to go F herself.
Two things.
First of all, what you have identified here is that she is a horrible person. Most people feel bad about themselves. Some people try to deal with this by bringing others down. “I may be horrible, but at least I’m not as bad as X” it is not true, it is just them trying to transfer their shame about themselves onto you.
Secondly, own your weird. If you do not fit into the narrow confines of what is socially acceptable in your society, be proud of that. What is accepted as “normal” basically is working for no one, and yet people are trying to enforce it on others so that they can all be equally unhappy.
Own your weird. Because, even if it is hard to do for yourself, doing so may give permission to someone else to own their weird. Spread happiness.
Aww I’m so sorry you had to go through this, but just know that those people are rude a-holes and they made it easier for you to rule them out as potential friends. You don’t want those type of people in your life. Congrats on trying to be more social! Taking action is the first step to improvising your social skills because practice makes perfect. Like any skill, at first you’ll struggle because you’re figuring out how to get a handle of it, and yes maybe sometimes you may miss social cues that makes you come off a bit weird but that’s still no excuse for people to treat you the way that girl did. Keep putting yourself out there, surround yourself with people that will uplift you and energize you, and set boundaries so people don’t take advantage of you.
Hey I’m right there with you when it comes to being shy and people not liking me. Those girls sound like people I’d never want to be friends with… you’re not weird they’re just being ignorant and bitchy.
Are you in high school or in college, OP?
Regardless, that girl is really rude and socially inept. 😅 No decent people would do that. I’m sorry you experienced that. Please know that her behaving badly has nothing to do with you.
Screw those punks, keep on going
Don’t let 1 group of people define who you are
On a positive note, you dodged a bullet!!
She’s clearly a judgmental, insecure & unhappy girl, she’s the last type of person you’d want to be friends with.
Stop saying hey, stop acknowledging her, keep your head up and move on. She’s a waste.
Trust me when I say, it’s worth waiting a while for that PERFECT friend that’s made for you, then having a “friend” like her around. People like her are not worth your time or effort or mind.
You’re doing an amazing job putting yourself out there, don’t let this tear you down. Keep going!!!!
People are asses. At least now you know how she feels about you and you can avoid her. Not everyone is meant to be your friend, just remember she’s just one person, there are many others who would love to be your friend.
You are not weird for for trying to reach out for a potential friendship. Ignore that person and move on! Soon you will find genuine people that isn’t a bitch who is trying to “impress” her “friends” by verbally insulting others.
I too am quite shy. I have gotten a little bit better since graduating college, but the friendships that I did form along the way are some of the most caring and hard-working people I know. And sometimes they will find you instead!
That feeling sucks. Nothing really else to do but stop socializing with that person.
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Remember, not everyone is worthy of your time. They choose to treat you like shit? Cut them loose. We’re going through a shitty time in history and no one has time for backstabbing little shits.
I want to first say that I am very sorry you put yourself out there and got treated like that. You deserve to be happy and happy the way you want it.
Second, those people are NOT good people and they never will be. You just found out(the hard way) that they are not good people and you do not want them as friends. I was in this spot my whole life. I’ve always left different from everyone. I was always looked at like I’m not good enough. I’ve been told I have a “mean face”. It suck’s feeling left out.
Last you are a much better person than them. You will definitely find people you want to be friends with. Life is long and short. It’s long when you’re alone and short when you have friends. Do yourself a favor and slow your life down to your pace. Finding the reasons for your social anxiety and finding positive ways to help them will improve your life. Never let ANYONE tell you, your feelings do not matter. They most definitely do matter. If we keep thinking you are different or weird you will only spiral deeper into your depression and it will eat away at your whole life.
I have always hated the phrase “stay positive”. It’s because I never understood it, I thought it was just a brush off by others because they were sick of hearing me bitch. In fact I took it and simplified it to finding those things in my life that are positive. I came up with myself. I’ve never liked myself because I’ve always been a genuine person. I’ve always put other before myself. I always felt stupid because I was always walked on. Well I realized that I’ve always be a great person to everyone and there isn’t a person in this world that could say differently. Knowing that helps me sleep at night because I’m not an asshole. I hope you find yourself peace and understand that you will find your place. Just keep your head held high and remember people who judge others are very unhappy with their own lives. They cannot stand who they are so they lash out at others , especially in front of other to help make themselves feel better. Also so they can justify their shitty personalities and never have to worry about changing. You will always be better than these people.
this sounds SO hard. I’m sorry! I would cry too. I think you just need to keep practicing. I have an easier time meeting people in classes where there’s a lot of chatting– like art classes or cooking, or small seminars where there’s a lot of conversation on a topic everyone has a mutual interest in. I’m 43 now, and honestly I think the shy, introverted kids I knew when I was younger have really satisfying lives now. Just keep following your interests and you will meet like minded people.
Honestly that says more about her poor character than you. She’s probably insecure and projects her insecurity onto others by belittling them. I hope you continue to work on socializing
You were simply trying to be nice and make a new friend, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. F her and move on. People like that aren’t even worth a second thought.
Ugh, I hate finding a Regina George in the wild
Be kind to yourself, OP. This girl sucks big time
No, the person is just an asshole.
Find someone who won’t call you weird as a personal attack.
The silver lining is, you dodged a bullet. She’s a nasty person, and someone you don’t want to be friends with. Better finding out now rather then later. Keep being you, and eventually you’ll have at least a few friends that are worthy of that label. I’m older now, but I also have been an awkward introvert for the whole of my life. Keep pressing on. It’s hard, but you can do it.
The problem doesn’t come from you. It comes from them. Forget about her and keep doing your thing to improve yourself. Impress yourself, not others. Shallow people will always judge you for no reason anyway and God knows how many shallow people there are on this Earth!
You’ll meet plenty of them in your life and you do, don’t let them get to your head. If you let them, you’re losing. If you don’t, you’re winning.
Honestly it’s pretty sad on her part that she has to make fun of others in order to feel better or happy; that can clearly tell you that she’s a sad, insecure, and miserable person. Don’t let those type of peoples opinion get to you. I know that’s easier said than done but would you really want to be friends with someone who’s an asshole like that? I know I wouldn’t. Just consider this life’s way of guiding you away from the wrong people and eventually into the right people.
Never lose hope on finding friends; just like anywhere there will always be assholes but there will also always be amazing and kind people. And know your worth too, you’re worthy of being surrounded with good people.
I’m sorry that person was an asshole.
I’m 34 and for around 24 years I’ve struggled with this exact thing.
The first time I attempted to just talk more and try to make friends, I was at a get together with my boyfriend (I was 13 he was a little older) He left me standing next to a group of people, they were staring at me so I was like “Hi, how are y’all doing?” And this girl looked at me and said “Don’t even pretend to know me, that’s fucking weird.”. And honestly it still haunts me to this day. I sometimes still get upset about it.
You weren’t the weird one here, she was. She doesn’t know how to be polite or to make light conversation like you were doing and the fact that she mocks people for it makes her the strange one, not you. If you ever get the courage, address it with her one day. Tell her “I heard you call me weird and honestly it’s uncalled for. I was being nice to you. In the real world people do something called small talk when they see other humans, if you can’t do that without calling someone weird afterwards then I really pity you because you’re going to be very lonely after graduating high school.” Don’t let her little ego trip with her friends put you down. Cry it out and try to get back out there. Even just a small smile to people you pass by, telling someone their earrings are cool when y’all are passing each other in the bathrooms, or saying hi to people with lockers near yours. Every little bit helps to make you feel more social.
It’s not you. Healthy people don’t act like that.
Next time you see her point at her, turn to the person next to you and say “You see her, she’s a piece of shit”.
Don’t take criticism from anyone you would never go to for advice. She’s weird for thinking people ought to bend their character to fit her standards.
You’re expanding your comfort zone. When you do that, it’s hard. Really hard. But it’s freakin awesome that you’re trying. You will stumble and fall but as you keep getting back up and trying again you will find that it gets easier and easier. Don’t listen to that girl, recognize your worth, and know that you are doing something hard. Appreciate yourself!
Assemble some friends. Hang with those. Don’t care for the rest. Popularity is overrated. Survive High School. Yeah…. Might sound impossible and detached to you now. Will make perfect sense one day. Don’t let those fucktards get you down. They’re not even worth to give them a “Fuck you”.
I hate this. This happened to me in middle school. I once started talking to someone and they were like ??? And I never tried again I still think about it
That girls just sounds like a complete asshole, I know you might like her, but the fact that she made that comment about you trying to humiliate you so she can have validations, makes obvious that she’s just a shitty person with a shitty life, or a boring one so she has to put down others so she can feel a little better. Pathetic.
people are terrible im sorry
That sucks that it happened, but at least she showed you she’s not worth your time
I was very shy and rejection like that in front of your peers would hurt a lot! (I’ve had similar too) You did the right thing not reacting. Please give yourself some love for improving yourself, you are amazing! xx
It helps me when I’m having a hard time to go back to basics. When you’re communicating, if you’re expressing yourself with courage, kindness and respect, that’s essentially all you need to do. You can’t predict peoples reactions. That’s up to them. Every time you communicate you make other peoples lives better.
When people choose to express themselves with fear, meanness, and disrespect, that’s them failing to be a good person. They can’t control themselves for a multitude of silly and serious excuses. It doesn’t mean anything about you. However you can control how you react to that. I’d encourage you to react with courage, kindness and respect. It’s an opportunity to practice being a better person.
Ultimately you want to find that magic person who is naturally attracted to how you express yourself. They are out there, waiting for you! Don’t waste your time on chasing people who react negatively or uninterested. Avoid them.
Socialising is a skill that you can get better at. Like any skill start slow, don’t take mistakes so seriously, stay positive, and keep practising over time. As you get better and more experienced, you can start to predict situations like these and avoid them. The skill will become a part of yourself and when you use it, it will feel very natural, like reading.
I was where you are for years now and I’m starting to become more confident socially. One thing I’m going to say that’s easier said than done is don’t let peoples stupid comments bother you. You will get rude comments and it honestly says more about the person making said comments than you. Just keep pushing yourself and getting out of your comfort zone and you will not regret it. It hurts now but you’ll look back once you’ve developed your confidence more and realize you dodged a major bullet. One thing I’ve realized when socializing is that people aren’t very nice. They might be nice to your face but it can be difficult to find genuinely nice and accepting people sometimes
She’s not someone you want to be friends with. I’d bet money that she’s insecure. Any mature person worth any character isn’t going to label someone weird based on a few small interactions. Get trying to talk to people, you’ll find a few people like this but I think most people are open to new friendships.
That person was being mean 🙁 Please don’t stop your efforts in socialising because of her! Sometimes I noticed, some people will insult others to make themself look better. Which is ridiculous because it does the opposite. She wanted to impress her friends by being mean to you. Forget about her and keep communicating with nicer people.
Couple of points to make
1) weird is good
2) the world needs weird
3) fuck stupid arse people who don’t understand weird
Without weird people the world is just one big monochromatic homogeneous mess.
Go be you and make the world interesting
Been called weird my whole life. Maybe I am, it is what it is. Just keep being you and you’ll find people you vibe with. That girl did you a favor by showing you exactly who she was, so now you don’t have to waste anymore time on her.
I’d leave her alone. I wouldn’t even answer her if she spoke. You’re weird, right? So why talk to her?
Whenever someone criticizes me or makes fun of me or insults me. It ALWAYS says more about them than it does about me.