Posts about talking feeling like a chore but still wanting friends,
Posts about feeling as if all of your peers are indifferent to your existence or even slightly annoyed with you.
Posts about being bored with conversation while still having social anxiety.
Posts about having a hard time feeling worry when others are sad or in trouble.
Posts about not being able to connect with anyone.
***And I cannot help but feel that all the answers to these posts were not the sort that would help me.***
Join a club? Tried that. Socialize more? I have a job, so I try that plenty.
Take a genuine interest in others? Alright, but how do I do that?
Become more confident through positive self talk? I can’t convince myself that my peers like me, and trying to think that they do always feels like I’m deluding myself.
I used the methods of continuing conversations by asking questions and relating what the other person said to other things, and it always ends up either feeling robotic or not going very far.
It is nice to know that there are others out there with feelings and experiences similar to mine, but sometimes the answers given to the problems discussed in their posts make me feel even more hopeless.
2 comments
Yes but how much of the recommendations have you tried and for how long?
Often times people are trying to acquire these social skills that will take years in just a short period of time and simply give up.
My ability to meet new people have been through trial and error over several decades of my life. The suggestions given here are valid but familiarization and mastery could take years and usually are just starting points.
I’m working on answers to all of the above. Basically how to NOT have talking “feel like a chore.” How to chase away boredom from all your conversations. How to use your conversations to CONNECT instead of putting on a failure of a performance and have things coming to a screeching halt with an awkward silence.
Joining clubs? That’s actually a great strategy for meeting people and having more conversations that *could* lead to friendships. BUT! If you don’t bring the “right stuff” to those conversations, then nothing will happen. Right? So “more socializing” will only lead to “more failure” if you don’t know what it takes to make things CLICK with people.
I think that’s the essential thing. What causes that magical CLICK to happen?
I’m kind of talking out loud here, but I think you have nailed down the essence of the problems very well!